Drowning

Chapter eighteen

It was the day. Bill did his time, now he was released. Lorne came and picked him up. It was a Saturday. He drove him to his apartment in silence.
"Get the girl." Lorne said before letting Bill out. Bill walked into his apartment and immediately Kristen's scent attacked his nose. Her beanie laid on the couch, he ran over and inhaled it, trying to remember her scent. There he realized he had never forgotten it.
He walked around their apartment looking for signs of her. He didn't find much, except the place was a little messy, which made Bill smile. Her messiness was one of the many things he loved about her.
Everything about him wanted to stay, to run to her and feel her lips on his and never let go. But the selfless part of him knew he had to go. To let her lead a normal life without his burdening disfunction. He knew she would be thankful in the end, he was willing to break and crash in pieces in order to make her whole.

While Bill was in the shower and Kristen was about to go onstage, she left a voicemail.
"Bill, don't you ignore me, don't you leave me Bill. I know you're out. You're probably at our apartment. I'm here. At one thirty after the show meet me at the lake. Promise me you'll go Bill. I know you will. See you later then." She hung up, took a deep breath and went onstage for the cold open. She prayed Bill would watch her from home and fall for her again as she had fallen for him.

It was 12:57, Bill tied his boots and walked miserably to the curb and got a cab. All throughout the drive he wanted to yell at the driver and tell him to stop and turn around so he could run into his bed where him and everyone else was safe. But he didn't, because at exactly 1:29 the driver pulled up to the lake, and there she was sitting on the bench fiddling with her hands and humming a tune.
"KRISTEN!" Bill ignored every part of him telling him to leave Kristen/wanting to keep her safe and swept her into his arms, holding her tightly. Kristen was taken by surprise, but wrapped her arms around his neck. But when they let go, she stepped back and looked at him.
"Why did you do that?" She demmanded.
"Kris-"
"NO! Okay you shut me out, you never let me come visit you, and the one time I do you get cold and tell me to never come back-"
"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!"
This set her off.
"NO!" She screamed. "YOU DONT UNDERSTAND BILL! I STAYED ALIVE FOR YOU! OKAY!? I FUCKING LIVED FOR YOU AND NOW YOURE JUST SHUTTING ME OUT! I WANTED TO DIE BUT I LIVED BECAUSE OF YOU!"
Bill ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath, trying not to get angry.
"Kristen, in that month in jail I learned things about myself, things that-"
"ARE YOU GAY?!" She screamed.
"No but-"
"ARE YOU DOING TO DIE!?"
"No but please Kris-"
"THEN THERES NO FUCKING REASON FOR YOU TO LEAVE ME UNLESS YOU JUST DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE!" Hot, angry tears sprung to Kristen's eyes and Bill wish he could get as angry as her without hurting someone.
"Kristen I need to keep you safe." He spoke calmly.
"You've always kept me safe Bill! If you leave I'll be so unsafe! What are you doing? What is the logic here cause I really don't understand." She said.
Bill was so angry, he became scared and he knew he had to leave.
"I have to go." He said, turning around. Kristen grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back.
"YOURE NOT LEAVING ME LIKE THIS YOU SON OF A BITCH!" She screamed. He grabbed her arm and gripped it so hard it could've came off. Then he looked into her eyes, lit by the moon & street lights and saw the innocence and love he just hurt and fell to his knees crying.
"I'm so sorry." He cried, shaking. Kristen crouched down and rubbed his back.
"Shhhh." She hushed. He sat cross legged on the grass and she curled into his lap while he cried. He cradled her in his arms, his tears falling on her back.
"Please tell me what happened." Kristen whispered. Bill tensed.
"This isn't your fault Kristen...but I think I need some time away." He said. She swallowed, knowing knowing whatever this was, was serious and Bill would've given her space.
"You leave on your mini vacation time tomorrow, or like today. Whatever. And you come back Tuesday evening." She ordered. Bill took a deep breath and nodded. "But for right now, you'll stay with me, okay?"
"Okay."
They sprawled out on the grass, fingers laced and Kristen's head buried in Bills chest listening to the crickets singing trying to soak up every bit of this moment possible.
"We're gonna get through this, Bill. God knows we always do." Kristen said. He only nodded.