Drowning

chapter sixty

"I don't know if I can make it tonight!" Amy moaned, laying on the floor in Kristens office where them, Bill and Seth were.

"You will." seth promised. "And you can."

Amy's phone began to ring on the desk. Seth answered it due to Amy being on the floor.

"Hello?"

"Hello Sethly!" A Hispanic voice squealed. "This is Gomez Vasquez Gomez! If you could, may you and your pack make your way to Horatio's office, please and thank you!" then hung up.

"Who the fuck was that?" Bill laughed.

"Gomez Vasquez Gomez." Seth replied. Amy cracked up, not a happy laugh. A sad yet hopeful laugh.

"Gomez Vasquez Gomez." she repeated. "What did he want?"

"We gotta go to Horatio's office." He exclaimed, helping Amy up.

"Oh shit, this never ends well." Kristen sighed, the four of them walking out of the office and down the hall. Seth was the one who opened the door, sound flooding from the dark room.

"Why the fuck is it so dark-" Bill flipped on the lights. "OH MY GOD!" he covered his mouth and grabbed for Kristen's hand.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Amy screamed.

"HIT IT KEE!" Horatio bellowed. In front of Horatio's desk stood a naked Andy, Horatio, and Kenan. When Kenan turned on exciting electric music the three boys broke out in the most structured lyrical dance you ever did see. The attire, and the song did not match up with the song at all. Amy laughed so hard, the baby could've popped out right there. Everyone had tears in their eyes from the hysteria of their laughter. Bill pulled out his wallet and started throwing money at the boys. Those three boys had been making people laugh for a really long time, but they had never felt as good about it as they did then. They made them all laugh when they didn't think any of them would ever smile again. Horatio almost got choked up right there, naked in his office, lyrically dancing to a techno song.

"IM BEGGING YOU PLEASE! STOP! MY FIANCE MIGHT LEAVE ME IF SHE SEE'S ANYMORE!" Seth howled with laughter.

"MIGHT?" She cried. "BABY, I'M ALREADY PLANNING ON RUNNING AWAY WITH THAT SEXY ONE IN THE MIDDLE!" She winked at Horatio. He blew her a kiss.

Soon, the boys had finished the dance and everyone was sprawled out on the floor, cackling. Horatio, Kenan, and Andy all high fived, proud of what they had done. They had made some of their greatest friends who almost forgot what happiness felt like; laugh their asses off for over five minutes. It was a glorious night.

Tina walked out of the doctors office, clutching the ultrasound to her chest. She had gone in for her first check-up. When she was out of the building she looked at it and took deep steady breaths. There was a human being living inside of her, an actual living person. She had to keep it, she made her decision right there that she would keep her baby no matter what. Without the treatment she had received she wouldn't have been able to have the strength to go through with this. It was the Friday before her last show, so she only had one more day in Ohio before she had to go home. Before her doctors appointment, was her last therapy session, she had thanked everyone there for everything and left. After her appointment, she walked over to the local drugstore to grab a snack. When she walked in, she couldn't believe who she saw standing at the register. Jimmy. Her whole entire body froze and her heart started racing. For a minute, they just stood there looking at each other. All they both wanted was to run into each others arms and never let go. But that was not what happened at all.

"Hey." Tina blurted.

"Hi." Jimmy trusted the bouquet of flowers he was holding towards her. "I got these for you."

She awkwardly accepted them and they went back to wordlessly staring at each other.

"There's a diner next door." His voice dropped. "Do you want to go...get something to eat?"

"Yeah." she exhaled, nodding. Without saying anything else, they left the store and walked into the diner, taking their seats. Looking at her, Jimmy wanted to get angry with her, but then he remembered what Amy had told him.

"I would really like you to explain." he said. "...please."

"Okay..." she took a deep breath. She owed him this, and so much more. "Jimmy, my uncle sexually violated me when I was little." she began. His eyes flared, but he didn't interrupt her. "My brain erased it from my memory, but around when we got back from chicago, I began seeing things and remembering. Also, so much shit having to do with my eating disorder and recovery, I used that as an excuse with Amy. But...my whole world just fell apart when I remembered what happened. I hated myself and didn't think I was worthy of any real love, much less the love you had to offer. Going to treatment, I also discovered that I have clinical depression...my life is a mess, I don't deserve you Jimmy."

He looked at her and tried not to cry. She still loved him, all of these things she couldn't control were affecting her, causing her to shut him out; but she still loved him.

"All of these things...you cant control. None of them are your fault. This is so hard for you T, I know that...I know how hard it must be to forgive yourself or love yourself, and when you cant; I will." he looked at her, sincerity in his eyes.

"You dont want me, Jimmy." she shook her head.

"I do!" he cried. "I promise you, I do Tina. I'll never want anyone like I want you."

They were interrupted by the waitress, coming to take their order. She was about to leave when she realized she had forgotten her pen.

"It's fine, I've got one." Tina fumbled into her purse and handed her the pen. In the process of that, the picture of her ultrasound fell out. Jimmy's eyes widened. They quickly ordered and then he turned to her.

"T..." he managed. "Is it-"

"I think so Jimmy." she looked down. He was flabbergasted. "Jimmy! Don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong, please don't worry." she pleaded.

"Tina." he grabbed her hand across the table. "Do you love me?"

"Yes." she said, without even thinking.

"We're going to make it." he said.

"On the first night I was gone, I went out onto my balcony and I was going to jump, i was going to kill myself. Right before I did, I heard a guy below me playing the song we danced to on Valentines day. I didn't jump. Oh my god Jim, I love you. I'm never going to shut you out again, okay?"she blurted and tears formed in her eyes, as well as his.

"Okay...it was such hell withou-"

"Jimmy." she interrupted. He looked at her. "Will you marry me?"

His heart stopped and he broke out into a smile.

"Will I marry you?" He got up, her following suite. "Yes." he whispered, pulling her into a kiss. Their lips molded together, fitting with stunning perfection. They pulled toward each other and all else disappeared. People in the diner began clapping, but they couldn't hear, she kissed him, she kissed him, she kissed him, and he kept kissing her back.