Phoenix's Lies

ED?

Phoenix

TW: Anorexia/Eating Disorder

The next few days seem better. Riv and I spend time with each other and with Lib and Lena but something about Riv's behaviour makes me feel nervous, and not in a good way like when she surprised me with those bracelets at school. This was that she was doing something that bothered me, I just couldn't put my finger on it. Not for a few days at least. Until I found out she wasn't eating, not properly at least, then I got concerned.

All the time I keep trying to notice it but she's crafty. Eating small things occasionally when she seems to notice me watching her. Frustrated that she's caught on, I try to be more discreet and notice that she's doing it less and less. What she does eat is small, spaced. Not like her sister, she makes sure Lena eats but not her. Why?

Determined to ask her, I want to find out but when I try to the words dry up, I don't know how to explain it without looking like I'm controlling or picking faults. Something I know from her past that if she gets a hint of will cause her to bolt. But I know something's wrong, just not how to fix it.

The next day at school I try to act normal but Ari must have sensed something is up since she gives me a look. I smile and wave her off but she doesn't seem convinced, my acting skills are not as good as my girlfriend's as tricking people into thinking she's ok. But I don't give up trying to figure it out, a plan already in my head since she seems to like sitting alone today, odd.

Walking over I sit next to her and she smiles, "Hey, sorry I've been a little busy." She offers a rueful smile and I try to return it but she must have sensed something was off since she frowns. "What is it?"

Slowly I reached into my bag for the food I wanted to give her. It's small but enough, for now, to prove my theory either way. Placing it down on the table I don't think she notices it for a second, her eyes on me, until she does. That reaction is more noticeable to me. She sits rigidly upright and stares. Just watch it. Like she's afraid it'll vanish or attack her. Something that clues me in more than anything else I've seen but also makes me more worried. I'm not stupid, She needs to eat it before she gets ill. Before it's too late.

"Though you would be hungry," I try to make it look a little less like I've been spying on her but I think she realises it when she suddenly narrows her eyes at the table and frowns, shaking her head.

"Don't want to. Not hungry right now. Maybe later?"

I sigh, hating how right I feel currently. Turning I face her again. "Eat Riv, please. Before you make yourself sick." Dropping the act I face her but she's still glaring, tone sharp.

"I'm not sick, I told you I'm just not hungry right now. I ate earlier and I'm still full." Riv avoids my eyes when she says that and I know she's lying but how do I call her out on it without looking like a dick about it?

"Then prove it, eat something," I said gently, trying to push the food over towards her but she just pushes it away again with a small, tight smile. My spirits fall. "Please Riv, eat something."

Her eyes widen ever so slightly then as if she knows I've figured out that she's not eating. A change from when she seemed to look before like she knew I'd been spying on her. Maybe that's related to something else? The thought crosses my mind but I push it back, trying to focus on one issue at a time. This one is more urgent. She keeps giving me a worried look as if she knows she's been caught in the act. Not that it's hard since she's getting so thin I'm sure I can see some of her bones ever so slightly when she turns a certain way. But I don't say that. Afraid that I'd spook her and she'd pull away. Run away.