Phoenix's Lies

Consequences and Regrets

River

TW: Abuse

The rest of the weekend passes in a blur after I leave Ari's with El, her words flashing through my head like lightning. It was Nix. that's who you were with. The video is all over the school. Everyone's seen it. I'm sure they can guess and this time they won't be wrong. The words echo around my head all Saturday and most of Sunday. My mind is lost and worried. Because if everyone has seen it then that means Derek has. And that means I'm in trouble and he's going to make it hurt. To remind me to stay between the lines my mother put in years ago. Oh shit, I hope...

"RIVER AVEYANNA SOUTH!" The loud shout of mine and El's mother sounds and I sigh. Looking up I see El standing in the doorway with a fearful look and move over to her soundlessly. Hugging her once I nudged her toward the closet in the back of my room, Putting my old headphones and phone into her hand in the hopes that it would distract her. The noise turned up as it is for her was to drown out what I know is coming. So she won't hear what is about to happen.

"Ri-Ri? Why is mommy mad?" El's eyes look bright and my heart clenches with worry when we both hear the noise of shattering dishes and screaming downstairs. "Ri-Ri I'm scared sissy," Hugging El as hard as I can I nudge her toward the closet again, trying to hide her before our mother found her. Before I couldn't protect her anymore, at least for now.

"I'll be ok munchkin but I need you to hide for me ok? Like when we played hide and seek yeah?" She nods, eyes glistening with tears as she opens her mouth to speak, before I gently put a hand over her mouth and nudge her again. "Hide now and don't come out until I get you. Quietly now ok? Before she gets here." I can feel the tears in my eyes, and the fear in my chest, but I blink them away as El nods and disappears into the closet, closing the door behind her. Breathing out a sigh of relief I have a moment of silence before I hear her again.

"RIVER AVEYANNA SOUTH! GET YOUR LAZY, USELESS SELF DOWN HERE OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL COME UP THERE AND GET YOU MYSELF. DRAG YOU DOWN HERE IF I HAVE TO. DON'T MAKE ME COME AND GET YOU! COME DOWN HERE! NOW!" I flinch when she screams then, hearing a single whimper from inside the closet where El was hiding as our mother storms up the stairs, eyes furious when they lock on mine. "You,"

I take a shaky breath and keep my eyes on hers, knowing how much anything else would seem disrespectful now. "Mother," It's a fight to keep my voice steady as I can see she's holding an object behind her back. Most likely her belt or some other blunt object she can use to hit me with.

She glares. "You little slut. You little conniving, selfish slut. Are you proud of yourself for what you've done?" Her tone is harsh and my stomach drops, knowing what she's talking about and guessing how she found out. "Did you have fun or were you just desperate for it like all the other sluts your age? And with him of all people? Are you brain damaged or just a fucking WHORE for attention!" She starts closer and I see her raise her arm, shielding myself as best I can by turning away from the closet, El's terrified eyes on mine through a crack in the closed door.

It's ok, stay put munchkin. I mouth the words to her, seeing that she's got one little hand holding my phone so tight I'd be afraid she'd crack it, the volume of the music turned as high as it can go, the other over her mouth as she shakes, tears running down her face. She nods and tries to keep quiet but I can see the tears running down her cheeks the more my mother hits me with the belt. My skin broke and bled under the repeated strain. Gagging at the slippery feel of my blood down my back. Neck. Arms. Legs. Stomach and chest in some cases. Anywhere she could reach me but that would be hidden from the public eye, at least for the most part. Shaking as I try to remain upright as the room spins until I lose that battle and slump to the floor, her still hitting me.