JJ and a Routledge

Outburst

We were now in the van, I was still shaking, and I felt like I was gonna faint. John B was ranting about the message in the compass. I was so zoned out until I heard John B say, "You guys have never had the closest person to you vanish."

"Right." I sigh.

"And then have no idea what happened. You don't know what that feels like." His voice cracks.

"Are you sure about that?" I shake. "Because when our mom consumed drugs daily, that's exactly what it felt like. When she screamed and hit me for hours that's exactly what it felt like. It's like she vanished. Her love for me did. I really had no idea what happened. Not to mention, my dad knew about me and didn't want shit with me. Maybe my parents didn't really vanish but they're gone. They're not here. They don't want me." I shake my head. "Not to mention, I came here to get away from harm and the feeling of uselessness but Kiara always makes me feel like shit, I've almost died like 3 times and I haven't even been here for a week." Everyone goes silent. "John B, everyone in here probably knows what it feels like for someone to just walk out or change, and they don't know why. Am I wrong?" I look around at all of them. No one says anything. "You admitted you're in denial. And that's okay, maybe he is out there. But you know why I stayed with my mom and her abuse for 5 years? I was in denial. I thought one morning I'd wake up and she'd make me waffles and tell me how much she loves me. But she never did." I whisper the last part. Everyone's looking at me. "I'm so sorry that was dumb, I shouldn't have said anything, I-"

"No, no." JJ grabs my hand. "It's okay." It wasn't okay, I knew it wasn't. I just haven't told anyone that before, not the details anyway.

Once we arrive at the lighthouse I decide to stay in the van and calm down. JJ insists on staying with me but they need as many people as they can get. JJ and Pope stay as lookouts anyway so he comes back into the van, Pope has the first watch or something.

"That was quite the speech you gave," JJ whispers.

"Yep, it all kinda spat out." I try to laugh.

"Um, I don't know if John B told you this but my mom left me and my dad. Never knew why. And uh, my dad is like your mom. It's mainly beer though. So I- I get it." He fumbles with his hands. "Is your mom the reason you're always so shaky and shit?"

"Yeah, she just messed me up, but these situations are pretty scary so... And my mom's boyfriend- he- he-- would threaten me with-" I gulp. "Guns."

"What the fuck." JJ whispers.

"Yeah, mom was too high to give any fuck. On my birthday, he didn't know it was but it wouldn't have made a difference, he put a gun to my head. Told me the nastiest shit, like how worthless I am, why am I even here, your such a fat-ass nobody that's why your rich daddy didn't want you." I start to cry. "I guess it just all hit too hard, that day, my mom tried to kill me," I start to full out sob. "Shot at me." JJ pulls me in for a hug right into his chest. We sat just like that for a while, until it was JJ's turn to stand outside, I just went with him.

JJ and I were just standing there, when we heard sirens, and saw a cop car coming our way. "Oh shit!" I yell. We sprint to the van.

"Should we drive off?" Pope asks.

"No," I reply.

"Yes, they'll be fine!" JJ yells back. And we peel.

Once I got home, I started to clean, it was a shitshow in here and if John B did come back today I wanted it to look a lot better than it did now. So I started in the living room, and moved to the kitchen, and so on and so forth. Finally, John B got home, and he looked like shit.

"Hey, are you okay?" I run up to him. He looks lost.

"I just had the worst day of my life." He sighs. So we sit down and talk about it. "To start off, the house got raided, the rooster is dead, got nowhere with the compass, Kiara rejected me, got charged for assault, got chased by those men, hit an electric fence, and gave the compass to Peterkin, oh not to mention Sarah Cameron got me fired. We have no income."