behind closed doors

nightmares

𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊

☾

his eyebrows are already pinched together when he is awoken, as if he'd slept with that same discontent expression. and maybe he had.

the brunette's eyes open to a dark room, no sun spilling in through the curtain-less window, and for a second he questions what the honk woke him up.

then he hears the crying.

despite being still half asleep, he is out of bed and on his feet before he's even able to think.

he feels his heart sink in worry as he rushes out of his bedroom and into the hallway, crossing over into the room opposite.

he sees the curled-up ball in the darkness, and doesn't think twice before flicking on the light switch.

karl rushes over to the king-sized bed, climbing over to the sobbing man.

well, karl tells himself it's sobbing but, by definition, it's definitely closer to screaming, even as the brunette muffles his sounds into his knees. his hands pull harshly at his hair.

"it's okay, it's okay," karl assures frantically, carefully coaxing the other's hands out of his hair. "i'm here now, see? it's okay." he entwines their fingers, trying his best not to wince as his hands are squeezed in the other's grip.

"it's not," he cries, "it's not. it's not okay." he repeats it like a manta.

karl tugs his hands free from the other man's before pulling him forward into an embrace. he strokes his back, hooking his chin over the older man's head. "it's okay dad," he whispers, "i've got you."

his dad falls forward into the embrace, sobbing into karl's chest and balling up the brunette's pyjama shirt in his fists.

"shh, it's okay, it's okay," karl hums quietly, rocking him like you would a crying child. "it's alright dad, i'm here, it's okay."

"i can't," his dad sobs, shaking his head, "i can't do it anymore."

"you can," karl convinces, pushing away the feeling of his own heart shattering in favour of being there for the other. "i'm here now dad, we can do it together."

"i'm sorry."

"don't be sorry," karl almost whispers, still rubbing the older's back. "it's not your fault, it's okay."

his dad continues to cry, and the sound still shatters karl's heart, despite how many times he'd heard it.

"did you have a nightmare?" karl asks quietly.

his dad nods, yes, and then says, "i wasn't even asleep."

and karl understands, because of course he does. because every day is a nightmare, asleep or not.