behind closed doors

confessions

𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖕𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊

☾

their phones sit silently on george's desk, all of them on both do not disturb and silent, just to make sure they wouldn't be distracted.

george's parents aren't home, but he wanted it to be at his house anyway, just because he feels comfortable here, in his space.

and now the three boys sit all squished together on george's bed, a half-drunk bottle of vodka between them that they'd been passing around and sipping at for the last hour or so.

"someone just needs to start," dream says, glancing between his friends expectantly. "we're gonna just be in silence sitting here for hours not talking otherwise," he points out, not even realising how strangely he had worded the phrase.

"fine, i'm bi," sapnap announces, taking a sip of the vodka as if to wash down the confession. he sticks his tongue out at the foul taste, giving himself a moment to recover before adding, "or maybe pan but i've been too scared to look into it enough to actually work it out."

"too scared?" george repeats, prompting the ravenette to elaborate on that point.

they'd agreed earlier that day not to waste time on spewing boring shit like 'i'm sorry' and 'i'm here for you'. they understood that they had mutual guilt and regret, and agreed that they would save the pleasantries until tomorrow- today is just for letting everything out.

"yeah," sapnap shrugs, "i'm still not comfortable with the fact that i like guys, so i'm still denying it to myself and like, not accepting the possibilities."

"but you're literally dating me," dream points out, poking the ravenette's leg.

"yeah, and that causes me crisis' all the time," sapnap shrugs again. "i'm happy we're together, don't get me wrong, it's just confusing trying to work out what that means for me."

"how did you two start dating?" george asks, still completely lost on the concept of his two homophobic friends being gay lovers.

"i think we both started questioning at the same sort of time," dream tells him, looking at sapnap for confirmation.

"yeah," sapnap nods. "we kissed to see if being with a guy affected us and basically just realised we like each other."

"and we did gay tests together!" dream adds, earning himself a genuine laugh from george.

"we went on a date to the pizzeria like, literally last week," sapnap tells george, "that's when we became official."

"i'm happy for you guys," george says honestly.

"thanks," sapnap smiles.

"i think i'm like, actually gay," dream says, earning a pair of understanding nods from his friends. "that, or i'm demiromantic but i haven't been close enough to any girls."