you're mine

Chapter 9

It will be a while before Emelia wakes up, and until then I am left with my thoughts.  My mind spend a lot of time ruminating and I get stuck in a cloud of thoughts, being consumed by my own brain.

Lately, I haven't been able to think of anything but Emily. Everything she does, I obsess over it. When I spent my days watching her and her every move, I obsessed  over everything she done.

I have over analysed every one of her personality traits and her whole life. All her hobbies, thoughts, movements, her style, her social life and etiquette, I know everything about all of them. I run everything she does through my mind until I understand it. I have struggled with my emotions for years, trying to feel things in situations I don't. But when I think of her, all my emotions click.

They are all in the right places and make sense, like I'm a kid again who still has emotions working because nothing has broken them.

It took me a while to let go of them. No matter how many times my dad attempted to strip me of feelings, I clung on. Until, I realised there was no point. I had no reason to feel. I didn't owe it to anyone, not even myself.

Now, I want to feel. I owe it to her. I want to feel everything for her, to know how to love her fully. And not only love her, but express my love.

I do believe I love her, but I need to know how she wants me to love her. I need to learn her love languages, what she expects from me and our relationship, what she craves when she's sad, what her turn ons are, if she loves physically or if she loves emotionally.

But for me to know all this about her, she needs she needs to let me love her.  I know it isn't that simple. I took her from her home and forced her to stay with me. I can see her fear all the time. Before she speaks, she runs it over in her head, making sure it's a safe thing to say.

She hates me.

I don't mind. She will grow to love me eventually, I'm sure of that. But I don't need her to love me, to be honest. I'm in no rush of receiving the affection I am going to over bear her with.  I just need to show her them. She owns my emotions and to be honest, the rest of me.

They aren't for anyone else. It was like I shut them down for a reason. Not because I didn't want them anymore, but because I was reserving them for her.

Now, I will show her years of pent up love and affection that I have never expressed.

I look over at her laying unconscious on the back seat and I sigh, hoping she will have a little more sense in her when she awakens.

....

A few hours later, Emily's eyes flick open.

"What happened?" She mumbles and looks up at me.

I turn my head over to the back seat to get a better look of her. "Oh you're awake. Good. I got you a sandwich from a gas station." My hands rummage through a bag on the passenger seat and pass a store bought sandwich to her. "And to answer your question, you tried to escape. I killed a couple of people, drugged you and here we are."

"You're insane." She grimaces and I smile.

"Insane for you. Come on, eat up. We have a long day ahead of us and you'll need the extra energy."

"Isn't it late afternoon?" She questions, opening up the sandwich.

"Yes, but still. We need to talk about something."

"What is it?" Emelia's features fill with worry.

"Well, you need to trust me more."

"No I don't."

"If you want to keep all of your pretty little limbs, then yes, you do."

She sighs, closing her eyes. "What do you want me to do? To trust you more."

"Well, I'm going to show you something. But until then, we will have a conversation. An honest one." I try to sound calm and as comforting as possible but I don't think my voice changes any. I want her to feel safe with me and know I won't hurt her if she doesn't fight me.

"I don't get it."

"What is there not to get?" I almost huff in frustration but I let her reply.

"A conversation about what?"

"Me and you. Our lives before each other. Tell me your favourite memory from your childhood, your favourite artist, most prized possession, favourite outfit; and speaking of clothes, I picked you out some outfits by the way."

I had to drop the bags in the parking lot to kill those people, but luckily no one touched them and they only got a little blood on them.

She looks down at the untouched sandwich then replies. I can smell the fear radiating off of her. "Well, Uhm, I don't really have a favourite artist or a favourite outfit. But my favourite childhood memory was going to Disneyland. And my most prized possession is- was my skates. They're the edea fly boots." She explains in a low, hushed tone. "What about you?"

"My most prized possession is you."

"I was talking about favourite memory." She says and I laugh.

"Don't worry, we are getting to that soon."

I turn off of the highway, onto a more narrow route, recognising it instantly. All my memories from this road come flooding back as we travel down it.

It takes around twenty minutes to arrive at a large house, distanced by a field of fresh grass.

The house is white and cosy, but not small like most secluded homes are. It's big, with a big garden and even bigger land surrounded by it.

A little off in the distance from where my car is parked, is a small house. It shocks me that it's still standing tall, no damage to it. But my grandad did promise me we used good wood.

"Come on, I want to show you something." I remove my seatbelt and exit the car, Emily following slowly behind, probably  thinking I'm bringing her out her to kill her.