you're mine

Chapter 58

As I regain conciseness, the first overwhelming feeling that washes over me is a searing pain in my abdomen. It's as if electric currents are coursing through my body. It takes a while for my senses to start working again but eventually I'm opening my eyes, trying to focus on something in the room. Anything that will make me feel awake. For what feels like an eternity, my body remains numbed by the intensity of the agonising pain, almost making me feel unreal. I let out a groan as I shut my eyes, my eyebrows knit together before I reopen them and look once again, this time everything appearing less blurry. My eyes set on Luca, who is sat over me. I feel his fingers playing with my hair, dancing across my scalp.

"Luca..." I groan.

"Don't speak, you aren't yourself right now." He interrupts, his soothing voice sending chills down my body.

"No." I move my head in an attempt to pull away from him but it doesn't work. I'm too weak and only move a millimetre; if that.

"Shhh. It's ok. You'll be ok." He smiles.

"It hurts." My voice shakes in pain. I want to hug him. I want to cry in his arms and let him whisper sweet things to me to take the pain away. I want to be comforted and praised by him. But then I remember why I'm in this pain.

He stabbed me.

Suddenly, fear washes over me. My breath turns into a heavy and unsteady one and I feel the need to throw up. But I can't move.

No matter how hard I try, I can't find the energy to move. My head spins and I clench my eyes shut, trying to stop the dizziness I am  experiencing.

Luca's hand stays in my hair, his fingers taking pieces and playing delicately with them. "Oh it's meant to hurt. If you had just listened to me like you were meant to, Emilia, none of this would have happened."

'I'm sorry' almost leaves my lips, but I fight against it.

"I don't deserve this." I shake my head slightly. "You kidnapped me."

"You love me." He argues. "So what if I kidnapped you? You were meant to be with me." Luca protests.

"It isn't right. I don't love you."

"Yes you do. You are just mad right now because I betrayed your trust. You aren't used to this and that is okay, baby. You do love me and I love you." He nods with a condescending but comforting look. "This is what we need, To be here for each other. You didn't understand why I was mad and you wouldn't listen when I told you we don't need them. You went against me, Emily. You made me do this. I done what I had to, for us. Please understand that, you'll be a lot happier."

I begin to cry. I hate when I cry. It makes it look like he's won. "No, no I didn't do this."

"Yes you did." He whispers with a soothing smile then plants a kiss on my head.

"You're crazy. You think I could love you? You tricked me-" His fingers graze against my wound and I groan in pain.

"Shhh. This..." He leans in closer to me. "This is just your injury talking." He states, thumb caressing my stab wound.

I cry again, so frustrated. It's like being stuck underwater and a ship is above me, stopping me from going to the top.

"Stop, that hurts." I moan.

"Good. Tell me you love me."

"No." I spit at him.

His thumb sinks into my wound. "Say. You. Love. Me."

"No." I cry in agony but I can't, I can't say I love him because if I do, if I let myself slip for a second, I don't know if I can come back from that mindset again. I will start to believe I do and I'll get stuck believing I do.

....

Some time passes, we haven't spoke much. Everytime I start, Luca shushes me and cuddles me harder. He lays next to me on the bed, hugging me like I'm not dying.

I can feel it, blood running out of my body and down onto the mattress. My back is soaked in blood. It drips quite slow, since the stab was small, but it's still running. I held my hand to the wound for a while which I think slowed it but Luca pushed it back down. I can't sit up to look at it but I know it's bad.

I look over to Luca whose eyes are shut, but I know he's awake. I can tell.

Slowly, I feel my energy coming back. Despite the fact I'm bleeding out more and more, I feel strong enough to sit up. Maybe even walk.

"Luca."

He hums in reply.

"I think I'm going to die. You have to help me."

"Say you love me and I'll help you." He breathes agaisnt my neck.

I can't do it. It's such a dangerous game, like making an addict hold a drug and telling them not to take it. I know how good it feels to get his validation. As soon as I say those words, it'll happen.

I don't want to feel good, or feel wanted. I want to feel free.

I decide not to respond to him. He gets up and walks away. Whilst he's gone I grab a pillow case and tie it around my stomach, trying to stop the blood flow.

When he comes back, he has an orange juice and a pill in his hand.

"Here. Aspirin. It'll help with the pain." He hands it to me.

"You stabbed me, I need a hospital not an aspirin." I argue but take it anyway.

"I need the toilet." I look over at him, looking for a reaction.

"Go."

I never thought in a million years he would just let me go alone. But he knows I'm too weak to run from him.

With a determined effort, I force myself to sit up in the bed, every movement sending fresh waves of pain coursing through my body. Gathering what little strength I have gained back, I manage to swing my legs off of the bed and plant my bloody feet on the cold ground. I clutch desperately onto the bed frame, using it as a lifeline as I slowly began to take unsteady steps towards the door.

The more I walk, the better I feel on my feet. Finally, the bathroom is in front of me and I'm entering it, locking the door behind me. My body practically falls against the sink as I reach it. I turn on the faucet and splash cold water into my face.

When I lift my face from the cold water, I look over at a mirror. Blood covers most of my body. Most mine, some Luca's, some Chris'. All I want to do right now is shower and wash the look of death off of me but I can't. Instead, I need to get out of here.