Who will ever know?

Entry #19: To much.

I have so much to do that I am bored.
its times like this that I wish I had some sort of time management skills. like i've got books/webtoons, this, typing out all my written half story's so i can have them all together on a usb, i'm learning the lyre, Excersizing/ streaching my scolosi out, scrolling and making tiktoks, my games on my switch lite, making and selling my flower crowns, selling flower wreaths, not to mention caring for my fish (which I need to figure out what to do with the shrimp before they take over), my rats, and of course my friends. thank goodness I don't have an actual social life. and of course working my job, soon to be two. I could do some of this stuff at work, i.e reading and scrolling tiktok because I can do that on my phone. but I don't want to take the risk of taking my other stuff their like my lyre, or my tablet for the writing to typed transfer, and the others I just can't take for various reasons. So when I get home or have a day off there is much to do still, and my brain just goes idk and I can't decide. So I do nothing instead and then i'm bored.
Timers don't help because they go off, and I'm like "almost done just a few more minutes' or i feel like I'm not enjoying the task because its timed.

None of its stuff I can drop, like on one had its something I do to aquire serotonin or dopamine, its a responsibility/commitment I agreed to and can't back out of, or its (like this) something thats in place because its supposed to help me in some way, shape, or form.

The single greatest, most accurate thing I have ever read was. Snailolgy by Snaillords Episode/Chapter 53 - All the things.

Give me shit to do, it is basically a requirement for my continued living even if I marry rich or win the lottery. imma still be working my ass off. It may be working my ass off volunteering instead of working 9-6 for the bare minimum in wages. (or 136 hours per week, as I did one summer)but ill be working my ass off on something and still won't have time for my shit lol.

Couriously enough I don't do it because I think i'm worthless if i'm not of service, though I do relate to alot of the verses in those types of songs and stuff, or that I need to do things in order to be loved. I am perfectly capable of lazing about, I just have this need to do things.

I find it very hard to drop hobby's because I have put time and money into it and I feel like i'm wasting it if i don't use it.