Who will ever know?

Entry #60: Pronouns

March 19th, 2024
Pronouns.... I hate em. And one of these days its gonna end up hurting someone. Like change your name, no problem easy peasy. Might struggle with identifying who you're using that name with and who we're using the old name with. But other then that no problems whatsoever. Proouns on the other hand I struggle with so much. Some of its just me, some of its stuff setting me up for failure. Like for example I am small town child I say things like "get em" and shit where instead of using a pronoun I use em. But you wanna know what I also do I say "e" and "e's" instead of she or he. Just "e" which I know is gender neutral and I use it as such. However it sounds like he/he's when you say it out loud. And im trying really hard not to use it because one of my friends is trans M to F. An I don't wanna offend them but its really hard, Because its not something you think about, it just happens. Another thing that really sets me up for failure is am around conservative type people all the time so I got default the pronouns so that i don't risk outing my friends to people their not comfortable having that information. Also when I talk to people who already know, but don't know well enough to not mix up all the theys when im talking. Not to mention Im also generally when Im talking to those people trying to explain the thing with out revealing the thing their not suppoused to know about. Which is making it sound more complicated to them then it really is. So i gotta use default pronouns when I'm talking to them. And its just aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA.

An i'm worried that because of all this people are gonna get offended and hurt. Because i'm misgendering them and I should know better by now. And they might think im doing it on purpose for whatever reason. but i'm not, i'm trying i promise.