A Little Bit Of It (JENLISA)

Chapter 13: The silence of the Ocean

On our way towards Lisa's home, it was their driver who had picked us up. At first it was a shocked for me but remembering just how rich Lisa's family are reminded me that this was just something normal.

Though, I may have grew with parents who were filthy rich, we have never had butlers or drivers picking me up. It was always me going to school on my own and vice versa.

The trip was silent and everything around us felt peaceful. However, a certain feeling kept bugging me. With the memory of what Lisa and I had just discussed a little while back inside her apartment still made me question to why she kept it, I'm fully aware that people doesn't have to share everything about what had happen from the past, but an ounce bit of me hoped she told me about this was sooner.

Seeing her jump like that towards a guy who I have never heard of or seen was a complete shock for me, the  first thing that would come into my mind was that he was Lisa's brother or perhaps a family member. But no, he just had to be the an ex in which my girlfriend is in good terms with.

Pulling me away from my thoughts, I felt a sudden stroke coming from Lisa's thumb. I turned to face her and was faced by a half smile Lisa, without I doubt, I know she's aware that all I'm thinking right now is his ex Bambam.

Smiling back at her I turned to face the window once again and release a deep sighed. Definitely feeling the christmas spirit this year.

As I observe the trees pass by our black Rolls Royce, both of my eyes decides to slowly shut themselves up, slowly feeling a pair of long arms creeping its way around me, pulling me closer until my body was against her chest, letting her warmth envelop me.

Thinking quietly, I realized that no matter how much Lisa made me feel angry or at least irritated it had only made me fall futher more into her. With her arms wrapped around me, with everything feels like home, a home where nothing is a problem. "Jennie" She spoke with a soft tone, loud enough for only my ears to hear. Humming was the only thing I could do as a response.

Without any reply coming from her, she carefuly shifts our position where we were now laying down on the backsit, her arms wrapped around my chest and our legs intertwining with each other. She placed soft kisses on my forehead and a few seconds later I had found myself slowly drifting into a bliss.

Hours later, opening my eyes was the first thing I did. Odd thing was that, I found myself deep in the ocean, free and careless. Turning my head, the ocean was like a blank canvas.

No fish, no waves, no nothing, just an empty space between the saltiness of the water and me.

As I let the cold water get through me, I realized how similar this ocean was to me. Empty, and most of the time minding my own business.

Looking back to how I was back then, life felt simple. Despite with all the raucous inside that big, unpleasant house, my life in school was simple.

I would walk pass the rowdiness of people, alongside the pathetic color patterns of the walls with floors that are mostly  covered in dirt and spit by this people who I barely know.

Everyday walking inside each and every class have always made me fell disinterested in whatever it is they try to teach in that school, hence to why most of the time I spend my freetime at the rooftop jst admiring the breathless view of the sky, with the sound of the birds chirping and wings flapping across me, watching as the leaves which has cholorosis flew as one with the wind. 

Being alone felt peaceful, made me feel that the only problem that I have to face is myself and no one else. Growing up, I made sure I learned to be independent, meaning I rarely had friends at the orphanage nor did I ever care about socializing with them.

The nuns had always approached me, telling me that I must make friends with people around me, enhancing that skill in communicating. I'd always reject the offer, thinking why must I add someone in my life when I know I'm satisfied being alone?

People inside that forsaken orphanage thought, I had no tongue due to my lack of interest in making contact with people.

Some have tried but I always choose to ignore, letting myself get swallowed by the thought that alone was enough made it difficult for the administratos to find me a place where I should call it a home.

Scoffing at that thought, it hit me if the administrators ever did a bakcground check of the parents who was about to adopt me.

Maybe or maybe not, but even though they did or they choose to just give me up to them, I'm still grateful to what my life had become now. Regardless of the times where I would watch my Father beat my mother numerous times,

I'm grateful to what was given to me.  With that kind of experience it has taught me that there's no such thing as perfect love nor a perfect partner, and that thought disappeared when I met Lisa.

Giving up to what love  really means made me shut down so much people who had the gutts and courage to confess to me.

After being diagnosed as depress, connecting the dots I thought to myself that maybe the reason to why I choose to be alone after all this years was because I was scared of being neglected again.

I never met my biological parent but the nuns said they were nice people, they were just.. never financially ready for a child, letting that information eat me made me realize I was probably never meant to be born in the first place.

However, I never let myself feel bad about it, like what the book says. I'm one in a million, a woman who goes by the name Jennie Kim, a soon to be God knows what, and a lover by none other Lalisa Manoban.

"Love?"

That's when it hit me, a sudden hand coming from the sky, pulling me out from my cold, dark surroundings, a flash of bright light appears as soon as I was out and in an instant I opened my eyes and saw the face of a beautiful real life barbie doll.

"Hey my love." I smiled, showing her the biggest gummy smile. No matter who the f-ck Bambam was, he was no longer in the book where Lisa and I share. This woman, my soon to be wife is mine.

"We're close, are you ready?" With those words flying in thin air, I approached her lips and let myself devour the taste of cherry chapstick coming from her luscious, plump lips.

Pulling away I let our foreheads touch and nodded in reply followed by the words "I love you from the moon and back (pausing for a bit I spoke) and more." She smiles brightly and kissed me once more. I love you always my monkey.