Chapter 20: Consciousness

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"How are you feeling?" The words coming out more as a whisper rather than an actual voice, from his pale lips. I shrugged in reply and continued eating the vanilla flavored ice cream that he had bought me. The day had gotten slower after walking around the park, it was only 16:30 and here I am, wishing he'd dropped me off by my place and continue our separate lives.

To even begin with, I don't know why he suddenly asked me to go out on a park with him. Sometimes I couldn't help but wonder if he's expecting anything in return. Looking to my side, a hint of nervousness was enveloping his surroundings. The fact that I didn't have to ask what he was feeling clearly shows how agitated he is, from the sweat appearing from his forehead, to him constantly fixing his hair.

A few hours ago he seemed to be doing just fine, but for some reason right now he's shakey. A little while back, we both ate pasta for lunch inside this Italian Restaurant which I was not too familiar with. The prices were expensive, and with the idea of him paying for everyhting definitely shook me. I offered halfing the price but he insisted on paying, telling me that why must I pay for something when he invited me out.

I understood his reason but, the idea of him paying bothered me. Now here we are, eating ice cream which I forcefully offered paying, as soon as I gave him my serious look he quickly gave up, raising his hand as he does so. I quickly smiled and carefully handed the money.

Few minutes later, this is where we are, sitting on one of the benches, the awkward silence eating both of us alive. "So.." He spoke.

"Yes?" I replied, looking at him. He's eyes suddenly disappeared as a small smile appeared on his lips, to my surprise I found myself smiling as well. The awkwardness was slowly fading and we started communicating again. "I'm sorry if this is.. becoming awkward, I'm not that good with talking" He admits.

Smiling at his honesty, I said that it was fine, and that he doesn't have to be shy. For some reason, I found myself comparing him to Lisa. Things would've have been different if I were to spend time with Lisa, she would talk non-stop, tell me the most useless things and enlighten me with facts that I never ask for. 

Lisa was definitely an extrovert, her being confident and outgoing was enough for me to feel safe around her. Sighing as sudden pair of hands creeped its way around my shoulder. "You okay?" He voice filled with concern.

"I'm fine, just thinking of something" I spoke, trying to hide the fact that I wish I was with someone else rather than him. "Is this about Lisa?" His words aghast me. But then I remember, the shooting did happen during school hours, it'd be no surprise if it spread like wild-fire about that certain incident.

Nodding my head, I deeply sighed. "I'm sorry." My words coming out rather as a whispter that I expected. "No need to apologized, it's.. something that's not really easy to accept, and you have every right to feel those emotions of yours. I know trusting isn't something that is easily given but, I hope to be able to gain your trust, enough for you to be comfortable around me." He smiles only halfly.

"It's fine, I don't really need anyone or anything at the moment. I'm honestly just waiting for her to wake-up" I admitted, people must be thinking how delusional for hoping that someone like Lisa who's in a critical condition would wake up.

As I prepare myself for the words that would be escaping his lips, he swiftly placed his arm around my shoulder and lightly patted it. Looking up to him he mouthed the words I understand. 

God, if you're hearing me now. I'd like to say thank you for letting me be able to meet this Kai guy, he wasn't pushy nor was he forceful, he's kind but if this is you showing me that I have options in terms of love or meeting someone then you're wrong. I'm sorry, but I'll always be Lisa's. 

The sun was almost setting and to my surprise it was already 17:30, who knew it's been an hour long already. I guess time passes-by quickly when you're having fun. "I should get going" I said, standing up while showing him my warmest smile. "I'll drop you off at your place, it's a pleasure to meet you Jennie Kim." He replied, as he guided me to walk ahead. Indicating that he'd be really walking me home.

As soon as we reached home, he gave me a light hug and waved as we bid-goodbyes with each other. All throughout the day, it felt refreshing to meet people, hangout with them as well as bond. But the downpart of it was I kept comparing him to Lisa, how Lisa made me feel at ease the moment we met, how she made things in as easy as breathing.

As soon as I opened the door I was greeted by nothing but silence, no-one was clearly home yet as the lights was still out and car wasn't there yet. Checking my phone in case they texted me, nothing. The moment I opened the lights, everything felt as if I was back to my usual reality.

Tables and chairs organized, the floor was freshly cleaned, the plates and utensils are organized, and even the couch was perfectly cleaned. I decided to eat the leftover food from breakfast and quickly placed it away as soon as I was done. Grabbing my phone once again, I updated both Jisoo and Chaeyoung that I was already home and that I ate as well too.

They both immedately texted back and informed that they get home late with God knows what kind of reason. I decided to not pry on their private life as I wasn't really that interested as well, it was there life. I'm thankful enough that they were generous enough to take care of someone like me.

As I finished preping everything else, showering, wearing my most comfortable cloes, I plumped myself on the bed, few seconds later there I was, slowly drifting to sleep. But it had to end immediately, as the sound of the alarm played on my phone. Grunting, in annoyance I checked the time. It was already past midnight and clearly I was nowhere near to feeling sleepy.

Hoping of the bed, I walked towards the door, and as soon as I turn the handle, bickering noises was heard from the living room. Not hearing much, I turned the handle and to my surprise a sudden familiar voice was heard. Bewildered by the sound of that certain voice, without having any second thoughts instantaneously I ran to the living-room. 

I stopped and stared at the tall figure, both Jisoo and Chaeyoung were infront of her and was shocked to see me awake. Rather than feeling excited they both smiled halfly. As soon as the tall looking figure turned, I was faced by the most Gorgeous woman. The woman who I had missed dearly, the woman who I wanted to marry, the woman that goes by the name Lalisa Manoban.

"L-lisa?" I sttutered.

She smiles but then her look suddenly shifted into an unsure emotion. "Who are you exactly?" She asked.

From the statement alone, my whole world turned into gray in an instant. Not knowing what to say I pushed all my emotions aside and said, "I'm Jennie Kim, you're girlfriend" She was Surprised by the words I have said, her mouth was apart, and it shaped into a letter o. 

Taking a deep breath, I told myself that I'm more than ready to make her mine once again, to help her regain the memory of us. So I guess this is what they mean when they said that, the little things you do for love, the stupidest things, the bullshit things you do for love. Sighing I said to myself, I love you Lisa.

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