See no evil - The awakening

See Danger

—Have you seen any black car murderers since you've been here sister? –Don't get me wrong. I've missed my family and I've missed Tom the most, but sometimes his humor was a reminder of how long it takes for men to grow the fuck up.

—Actually I did. He was here tonight before you arrived. We had a conversation and he made me cut my finger to draw a cross of blood on the door. –I showed my finger which was now covered with a bandage.

Everyone started laughing and I did too. What a silly story. Ha. Ha. Ha. Luc was sitting next to me and he was the only one who I think understood how uncomfortable I felt under all the laughs and he placed his arm around my back and looked at me. As if in some part of his mind he believed what I had just said.

After dinner my mom, Steph and I went to the kitchen to do the dishes which was actually the excuse to have some time to catch up. We talked a bit about my life there and how I was feeling. I told them it had been great for my writing, to be able to be in a distraction free environment.

—Clary is great. –Steph said, which made me feel pleased to see that both my worlds could coexist even if it would be a few times a year.

What had happened before stayed in my mind for the whole evening and for some reason it made me wonder about myself. My past, my life before my parents took me in. I've never been interested in that, I've never wanted to seem ungrateful to my parents but asking questions about the people who had birthed me. But at that moment I felt the urge to have a bit of information.

—Mom...–I started. While I washed some forks without looking at her.

—Dear.

—Did you know...do you know anything about... –I couldn't say my parents it was not fair but there was not a simple way to say it. —Do you know anything about the people who were my parents before you?

Let's talk about a way of complicating one sentence right? I kept washing as if there was no rush for her to answer. Steph clearly feeling uncomfortable, took a clean cloth and started drying everything I was washing.

—No dear, I'm sorry. –I felt how awkward the moment was for her.

—Oh ok! –I tried to keep a happy tone in my voice.

—Is...there a reason...for you to ask?

—No no no It just came to mind... let's go outside before 12! –I quickly stopped with the dishes and went back to the living room to avoid the most weird moment in my life.

I felt like shit, I could see how my mother's face had turned after my question, why had I done it? What was I expecting to hear? We filled our glasses and walked through the glass windows outside and onto the wooden pier. I had placed candles on the wooden benches and with the moon light it was more than enough to see everyone's faces clearly in the night. you could see the little waves the soft breeze created in the lake and hear the music that came from inside the house.

Clary came walking with a cake in her hands which was filled with candles. She stood in front of me and Luc looked at his phone. —30 seconds, love. –He said. —Make a wish.

I closed my eyes, as I normally did in all my birthdays, but in this one I closed them really hard, pressing my eyelids against each other as if that would help my wish come true. Come back. I thought in my mind and repeated to myself until I heard a loud —Happy Birthday! –From everyone who was there. I opened my eyes and blew the candles still repeating the same words. Come back. Come back. Come back.

We ate cake and drank some more wine and about 2am everyone left to go to the hotel for the night. Luc helped me clean and tidy things up and we then went to the room. He had been unusually silent that night and I assumed he was tired from the trip and from having spent so much time with my family.