Hard Time's

Born to Die

'Hellman! Up and at em!' a guard bellows throwing open the door. The Baroness is already awake. She is used to being up exceptionally early to the guard's surprise. 'Breakfast time. See if you can make any friends eh?' he laughs. This is another different guard there are so many. 'I'd rather stay in here.' she replies quietly. 'Oh, perhaps I could fetch you a cup of tea and bring it up for you, your majesty? Get out here now!' he bellows. The Baroness does not flinch but she gets up and leaves the cell with a sigh her hair is pinned up but more sloppily than usual. She can feel the many eyes on her as she heads downstairs and joins the breakfast queue. Everyone is talking.

Victoria waits because that is what has deemed her life now she must comply. The game is rigged against her and she has lost the only person she ever loved and whoever loved her. She takes a cup of tea and a bowl of slop which is supposed to be porridge. Taking a table alone she refuses to eat the porridge and instead takes a sip of the tea, she spits it out instantly. It's filled with salt and the other prisoners laugh at her. She dabs her mouth clean. Instead, she gets up and heads to the prison library in the hope of being alone. A few of the women share a look and decide to follow her.

When the Baroness enters the library she walks over to the books and scans the available titles. A lot of the prisoners leave as a gang follows her in one of the women slips the guard in the room some money to leave. She leaves and closes the door behind her. The Baroness selected a thick book looking up she noticed the group of women staring at her. Choosing to ignore them she sat down with her book. 'Baroness.' a red-headed female greeted. She walked over standing behind the older woman to intimidate her.

'I always heard you were a psycho bitch.' The Baroness pursed her lips with disinterest and looked up from her book. 'Can I help you?' The girl sat down across the table from her. 'I'm sure someone with buckets of money like you could be very helpful.' she gave a nasty smile. The Baroness looked up looking bored. 'It might be beyond your intelligence but I am in prison. This isn't my summer holiday home, I don't have anything. If this is a shakedown,' she shrugged holding her hands out. 'I can't help you girls.' This further enraged the women. One of them grabbed the Baroness's hair from behind smashing her face down on the table she yelped in pain.

Broken but not beaten yet the Baroness had some fight left in her when they yanked her hair up her nose was bleeding. The Baroness grabbed the book she lifted and whacked the spine hard off the face of the woman in front of her. 'Bitch!' the woman covered her face as the blood began to gush. The Baroness was pulled backward and she tried to claw at her opponents but there were many of them and one of her. Besides, they were used to street fighting and she was not. When she was thrown on the floor they started to kick her until she blacked out.

The Baroness opened her eyes and she saw you standing on the stairs of Hellman Hall in a beautiful flowing white wedding gown. You smile at her and you are glowing a veil is draped down the back of your hair. Genghis is standing beside you wagging her tail. Your smile warms her heart you are all she has ever wanted, her lover, her protector. You hold out your hand to her and she walks over to you taking your hand you draw the veil over your face. The Baroness takes your hand and follows you inside. Hellman Hall is beautifully decorated with flowers and golden streamers and banners. Flower petals are falling from the ceiling.

The Baroness follows you up the aisle to an archway looking over your shoulder she sees John standing. He opens his mouth and blood starts gushing out of his mouth. "John!" the baroness mouths but she has no voice. She looks at you and she tugs your hand in fear mouthing your name. You toss your veil back but you aren't you, you are Lilah. Lilah starts laughing and it's audible echoing all around.

The Baroness slowly opens her eyes and absolutely everything hurts like hell. A bright light is being shone in her eyes and she falls asleep again. 'You can't put her back on the wing another beating like that will kill her.' the female guard speaks. The Baroness keeps her eyes closed and listens. 'Serves the bitch right. She had it coming.' the chief replies. 'I thought she was dead when I found her! Regardless of your fragile male ego, it does not give you the right to sentence someone to death!' the female hisses. 'Fine, have her moved to the segregation unit. When she wakes also put her on toilet cleaning duty.' The Baroness hears the door swing shut.

You always wanted to be a fashion designer you had always been a little different from the other kids. A little too much. Sadly being born into poverty limited your options and using your body to make money worked. Plus you got to show off your designs to everyone and pretend you were like her. The Baroness. Growing up you had cut out newspaper articles and such with her picture, she was your dream, your heroine. When you grew up you wanted to be just like her she was so beautiful. The fact when you grew up she literally came and saved you had blown your mind. The woman was older now, as were you, and where you had blossomed into your own as a young woman she had aged like a fine wine only growing more beautiful.

Being informed she just thought of you as a leech had broken your heart, and you regretted the incidents that had led to the silence between you. Jealousy is an all-consuming entity that twists even the purest mind. John had been working for the Baroness for a long time part of you always wondered. One lonely night after a ball, one cold English morning had they ever? John had proven your fears to be false but the damage was already done. When Lilah offered you the ticket to start over with your dreams you had considered it. But the truth was you no longer wanted to design it was too painful. It reminded you of her. You could never design for another.

You never made it to the station. Since the time you spent with the Baroness, you had grown and with no need to show off your designs, you decided stripping was no longer for you. You sold the train ticket for half its worth which gave you enough to put down a deposit on a small flat. It was only a few streets away from Milly's, a cafe that held a vacancy sign. You took a job there and had been waiting tables ever since. The one thing you vowed was to avoid newspapers, radios, and TVs anything that could mention the Baroness. You hoped she would continue to do well with her brand but you needed to get her out of your head if you had any hope of healing and moving on from the love of your life.

You spent your days at work, reading, drawing, or just walking around the city at night you didn't have the desire to go back to the club scene. Your work colleagues often asked you to hang out but you just weren't interested. Solitude can be a lonely thing it can also be extremely therapeutic.

"Oh my heart it breaks every step that I take

But I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?
I feel so alone on a Friday night"