Hard Time's

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart

You glare at Lilah and your face sets in a permanent scowl. Over the next few days, a chain of events occurs. You go to take the Baroness lunch Lilah has already served her. You glare through the glass at her. You try to talk to the Baroness but Lilah is always fucking there. Your stuff was moved back to your room and you barely get to see the Baroness anymore. You attend a meeting and Lilah has taken your seat by the Baroness's right-hand side. Looking out the window you watch as before John can open the car door for the Baroness, Lilah already has. John looks quizzical. 'The press?' you overhear the Baroness as she enters Hellman Hall. Her voice echoes. 'Updated.' Lilah replies.

'The invites for the gala?' the baroness asks. 'Sent Baroness.' Lilah replies cheerfully. 'The drinks menu for tomorrow's cocktails?' you miss hearing that beautiful middle-class English voice. 'My meeting this afternoon?' she asks. 'Pushed back Baroness.' The Baroness stops and raises an eyebrow, you smile happily watching from the top of the stairs, she's in for it now. 'You have been working so hard I managed to get it pushed back so you could have your nine-minute power nap.' she smiles. 'Good girl, thank you Lilah.' she leaves her and Lilah is basking in her success.

You aren't sure what you are more pissed at. That she brought the cheery little gnome home, that she's learned her name or that she called her good girl. 'Why welcome to our humble home.' you speak making yourself known as you walk downstairs holding a glass of red wine. You are still in your lacy black nightdress having given yourself the day off. Not like anyone would miss you anyway. The woman blushes. 'Sorry I didn't see you.' she is so smiley. Stupid smiley face if you just punched her just once.

'The Baroness doesn't usually bring the help home.' you speak coldly. Lilah's smile drops a little. You stand on the last stair so you are both the same height. 'You don't like me much huh?' she asks gently. You look bored. 'Don't be silly dear I'm your biggest fan.' Lilah smiles. 'It's a real shame though, you see I am actually. A fan of yours.' she explains. You look confused. 'I thought your designs were some of the best the House of Baroness has produced in a decade.' she gushes. 'Your work is like looking at art not just clothes.' alright at least she has good taste. 'Why don't you ever design anymore? If I may be so bold to ask.'

You consider for a moment. 'I guess you could say that I just lost my spark. I don't have it anymore.' Lilah studies you with her warm blue eyes, she reaches out and touches your arm. 'I don't believe that for a second I bet that spark is still in there somewhere.' she comforts you. 'Lilah!' the Baroness's voice echoes from somewhere down the hall. 'Oh, beans! I better run. It was nice chatting to you (y/n).' she runs off. Stupid Lilah, with her stupid niceness....okay she isn't so bad. Still annoying all the same.

The Baroness has a cocktail party which you are invited to as it is mostly for up-and-coming designers so she can sniff out fresh talent. The Baroness wears a beautiful over-the-top gown of gold and black colours. She is like the sun the centre of attention. You have opted for a much simpler but still breathe-taking low cute green metallic gown. You choose not to mingle and take a table alone away from everyone. You sigh staring out into the night. 'Hey.' Lilah greets taking a seat beside you. You look up. 'Hey.' you reply sounding glum.

Lilah is dressed in an understated cocktail dress she looks around the room. 'Are you not going to chat with anyone?' she prompts. You look up you point at one woman. 'Always ends up throwing up.' You point at a man. 'Way too handsy.' You point at a younger woman. 'I know a pick me when I see one.' Lilah laughs. In the distance you both hear the baroness laugh with others, they are in a small group mingling. You look over and it's hard to hide the sadness. 'You really care about her huh?' Lilah asks looking at you. 'Yeah.' you smile and shake your head at what a waste of time it is.

'Lilah, you spend a lot of time with her. Has she ever mentioned me? Even once?' Lilah looks uncomfortable. 'I- she's my boss it wouldn't be proper to gossip.' You grab her hand. 'Please, it's tearing me apart.' Lilah looks over at the Baroness and then at you. 'She only did once.' At this, you start to smile maybe it isn't over. Lilah looks even more uncomfortable. 'What?' you tilt your head smiling. 'She said that she kind of felt you were just leeching off of her wealth especially since you aren't designing anymore. But she can't fire you because you were involved in a relationship. Nor can she ask you to leave because-' 'Because then it'd be uncomfortable at work.' you finish for her as your heartbreaks.

"This world can hurt you
It cuts you deep and leaves a scar
Things fall apart, but nothing breaks like a heart
And nothing breaks like a heart"

You look over watching the Baroness with her middle-class friends that's where she belongs. With them, not with someone like you. 'I'm sorry.' Lilah touches your hand. You nod and quietly exit from the party, you start heading upstairs. '(y/n)!' Lilah calls you to stop turning to her and she rushes to catch up with you. 'What?' you wait till she is beside you. She opens her clutch bag and takes out an envelope. 'I shouldn't be doing this but I was in a meeting with the Baroness and one of the companies personally asked for you. She said you had retired. I caught up with him after.' she gives you the envelope and you open it. There is a first-class ticket to Paris. 'This never came from me okay?' she squeezes your hand and goes back to the party.

Going upstairs you sit on the bed holding the ticket on your lap. It's over. It has been since you called her a whore, since you almost hurt her. She fears you are like him, like the baron. You've known for a long time your story is over but you just didn't want to admit that the journey had ended. With the envelope, you have a fresh start in the most beautiful city in the world. But you will forever remember your first love. Baroness Von Hellman. As you pack your things you can't help but feel you've been living in a dream world for the last year. You were never going to get a happy ending.

Genghis whines and you ruffle her ears kissing her snout. 'In another life girl eh?' you put your bag over your shoulder heading downstairs. You peer over your shoulder to the room the party is being held in hearing the laughter and voices. You smile sadly as you head out into the night. The gravel crunches beneath your feet as you walk out across the driveway of Hellman Hall.