Tell Tale Heart [Pierre Gasly]

Chapter Fifty-Four

The next couple of weeks were beyond difficult. I had flown straight to France and just got to Lyon with twelve hours to spare for the funeral, meaning that I spent most of the two days after the break up in various airports and hotels before finally getting to see my family and most importantly, my grandmother. When I watched her I had no idea how she possessed so much strength but I just tried to follow her lead, staying with her when Lisa, Toby and my dad had to travel back to the UK because they had a doctors appointment. Also because generally being in France and my grandparents home was stressing Lisa out too much to stay given the five month old foetus she was busy growing.

I'd stayed a couple of extra days but then time ran out and I had to go back to Milan, to take some more photos for team members paddock passes and to pack to go out to Bahrain. Chiara had taken to never leaving my side and I didn't object in the slightest to be honest, I needed her more than ever and she made me laugh, pulled me out of my pain at the times when it felt consuming.

"You two are ridiculous, it's only a matter of time until you get back together...you are magnets!" She told me the first night that I was there. She was not helping at all with the tears that were very much still streaming down my face as I ugly cried and drank about two bottles of wine to myself but I just shake my head at the words as I try to explain it all for the hundredth time.

"I can't do it anymore Chi...he's asking too much, I can't do it," I tell her, the words coming out quite muffled from behind my hand where I'm trying to suppress the sobs, both of her arms wrapped around me comfortingly. I was usually pretty appreciative of her constant and reliable Italian honesty being brutal but right now I really didn't want to hear it. I wanted distraction.

"Mm'kay...well, I will hex him now that I can't personally mess with his car because I would be banned from the paddock forever," she jokes before beginning to spout a bunch of weird Italian jargon in a ridiculous exaggerated manner before looking back at me smiling. "Done! His engine will fail soooo much this season," she promises me and I let out a giggle as I wipe the tears away and look at the crazy blonde.

"Just nail the strategy for Nyck?" I ask her and she shrugs.

"If you insist...but I was planning on directing him to just bin the car into the wall at every opportunity...I've been studying Ferrari's handbooks," she jokes and this makes me let out a little cackle as I calm down a little more. I might have lost a lot but at least I had her still.

I didn't hear from Pierre after I left that day, not a single peep. Nothing about the cost of the flight or taxi and no information on where to send his stuff to. I'd tried asking people in his team but they never replied to my messages, clearly on some kind of ban which I discovered when I tried to reach out to some of my friends at the team to see if his people had got my messages and they just awkwardly confirmed that they had. But that I wouldn't be getting a response any time soon...

So...I still had all his books and some of his more random things, most surprisingly I still had his first ever F1 podium trophy from Brazil in 2019. That was what I was most concerned about returning to him because I knew how much it meant but it seemed like I wasn't allowed which was why I was taking it and some of his more read books with me in my limited luggage space for the next month. I knew it was a risk given that I had limited space and I wouldn't be home anytime soon having agreed to do some work with Daniel around the Australian GP that he would be appearing at - something Alpha Tauri and Red Bull were more than happy to approve - but I was so desperate to get it out of my flat that I needed to.

"Hey Nyck," I say softly to the Dutch driver who, once more I had fast become friends with, appreciative of the fact that he and Yuki had gone out of their way to send me flowers when they heard about my grandfather despite him being busy with training with Pyry. "I have a couple of the books I was telling you about? I was hoping to try and return them soon but maybe you want to borrow them for now?" I ask him and see him look at me uncertainly as he places a comforting arm around my shoulders.