No Status Quo

18. Pain

Quick as lightening, I rush over to him, blocking his path.

"What are you saying?" I whisper.

"Don't act dumb." He laughs grimly, "This was all an act. You get close, and then you make fun of me—"

"No, it's not what you're thinking." I say feebly. No, no, no, this isn't supposed to happen.

"It is!" he snaps, his tone making me flinch. "You never really cared, did you?"

The atmosphere feels suffocating suddenly. I can't get enough air into my lungs. "I care—" I reach out to him but he moves further back. My heart sinks.

"I really thought you were different." Pain flashes across his face but then it's replaced by fury, "You proved me wrong, though. Tell me, was this your friends' idea?"

"No it wasn't."

"Excellent, so it was yours." He says, "I'm so dumb for expecting so much, I didn't know you'd be fake too. You practically faked everything."

Fake.

I shake my head. Several heads turn in our direction. "You don't understand." I begin, my eyes threatening to tear up.

"I understand perfectly." he says slowly, "They were right in a way. Why would the Gina Rosen talk to me? Star student, captain of the cheer team, Prom queen since three years, queen bee at Yolherth...approaching the loser of the school? Now i got the answer, I'm a fucking joke for you." he says, "Go to hell."

"No, listen to me." I urge as he side steps me and goes right out the exit, "No!"

I stagger back, a lump in my throat as I stare after him. Realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I messed up...and badly. I lost both, friendship and the chance at love. My worst fear just came true. My eyes well up. I hurt him. I hurt him.

I crumple to the floor, my legs shaking when two feet appear in front of me. Wiping my eyes on my sleeve, I look up to see a young woman standing by the door.

"I saw what happened." She says softly,

Great; the whole café must have seen. I don't answer my mind still on the pain in Ren's eyes. I caused that...

"It may not be late." The woman goes on, "there's a saying, 'You should do all the things that scare you," she takes my hand in hers and pulls me up, "Because in the end, they're worth it."

I slowly look up at her. She smiles warmly, "Go."

Her words register in my head and I nod, hastily getting to my feet. I run out of the café. He's already going down the stone path.

"Ren, stop!" I yell, desperate as I run after him. "Listen to me!"

He doesn't stop, only increases his pace. My heart beats wildly; this is all because of me. I continue to run as fast as my feet would carry me, ignoring the stitch in my side. I do my best and eventually reach him by the road's side, hearing the roar of vehicles.

"Hey, listen." I grab his arm, jerking him to a stop. "Please."

He turns his head towards me, jaw set. "Leave." He says icily. "What else is there to say, that you feel sorry for me. I don't need your pity."

I shake my head as the tears threaten to come again. I will not cry. I will not cry.

"You don't understand, I didn't lie."

"Let go of me."

"I never meant to hurt you." I croak out. There's the hiss of wheels against asphalt, the sound like waves crashing against cliffs. "I'm sorry—"