No Status Quo

20. Confessions

For me, one thing was of utmost importance. That was my status. I loved being the most popular girl at school. I was proud of that too as it was a feat no one else has managed to achieve. I have the highest rank, and I planned to maintain that, as I had the last three years. Well, too late to realize that plans change. I usually stayed away from factors that could ruin my image or, say, take away my popularity. Nothing mattered to me more.

Until he came and everything changed;

My face must have been a puzzle because he goes on, "I've felt this way since long. Only I couldn't tell you." he closes his eyes, "I was worried that you might not feel the same way."

"That's crazy." I say after I find my voice, though it's just a whisper. Why wouldn't I feel the same?

"I'm sorry for being a jerk that day. I just couldn't bear to look at you, lying in the hospital because of me. You have no idea how it tormented me." He opened his eyes, and when he looked at mine, I saw the agony there.

"You didn't sleep, did you?" I say faintly,

He shakes his head, "Giavannah," he pronounces my full name slowly, and then tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. A shock runs through my body at his casual touch, "Gina, how could I sleep? You were unconscious. The thought of you still, white...to never see you smile or blush scarlet again...it would be excruciating."

He looks at me then, awaiting a response.

"You already know how I feel, of course." I say finally, "I would rather die than stay away from you."

He gazes warmly at me and I stare at him, suddenly grinning like a fool as an intoxicating flood of endorphins and relief breaks over me.

So this is what love feels like.

And right now? Nothing matters but us walking towards the park, hand in hand.

"You're something else." Ren says, though he's smiling. "A normal person would've stayed away from me."

"You should have realized by now that I'm not a normal person, no?" I say with a laugh,

"Of course." He says, his steps slowing down. "I—wanted to let you know how I felt earlier."

"That day at the theater," It comes to my mind, his expression.

"It's like, one minute you're happy, the next you're greeted by reality which hurts." He goes on. Without seeming to think about it, he places his hand back in mine; I hold it tightly in both of mine. "I was afraid...because for, well, obvious reasons, I can't stay with you. And I'm afraid that I'd like to stay with you, much more than I should."

I tug him closer by his hand, "Stay with me, then." I say, unable to hide the longing in my voice.

He looks at our hands and gives me his signature smile, "Already doing that, no?" he responds, "That champagne thing, what was the real reason behind that?"

"I found myself caring about you." I say, since we were confessing, might as well say all of it. "I knew Kate and all were going to do that so it just happened I guess. It was later I came up with the excuse that I did that because they didn't invite me to their genius plan." And they bought it too. "Smart, huh?"

"Very smart." He agrees with a laugh. Our eyes meet, and I laugh, too. We laugh together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of such a moment.

Then remembering something, he says, "Do you know that Yolherth won?"

"Huh?" I was engrossed in seeing the moonlight fall on his dark hair, "We won?" no way. We lost to Clayton last year, and the two years before as well.