Careless

17- What Can We Do?

Sal had spent about two weeks with Ash before he decided to come back home, and by then, nothing had changed. Todd had offered to clear out the room of Larry's things, but Sal said no. He didn't want to feel as though Larry had never existed in the first place, he was going to do it himself when he was ready.

He put Gizmo down and allowed the cat to go wherever he wanted. Todd walked over to Sal and gave a reassuring smile. "Hey Sal, how are you managing?"

"Not great, I'm just...going to spend some time alone."

Todd nodded in understanding and watched as Sal went to his room, showing no signs of leaving anytime soon.

The three of them knew the pain Sal was experiencing, as they all felt an unbearable pain as well knowing that their friend was gone.

Neil looked over at Ash, "how is he?"

"Worse than he let on. I caught him cutting a few times," Ash said sadly.

"Damn, he was doing so well too," Todd responded, feeling sad for the boy.

"I mean, can you blame him? It's only been two full weeks since..." she couldn't manage to get the words out, as it was still painful for all of them.

Taking one last look towards the door Sal had shut behind him, they wonder what he was doing, but then they decided to head to Todd's room to talk.

~☆~

Sal layed upon his bed, just staring at the wall with tears in his eyes. Was he even ready to be here? The sight of all of Larry's things was still so painful.

He sat up and pushed some hair from his face, looking to the side and seeing Larry's unfinished painting.

He sniffed and stood up, walking over to it and picking it up. A small piece of paper floated to the floor, and Sal looked at it curiously. He put the painting back on the easel and bent down, picking the paper up and looking at it.

His eyes filled with fresh tears as he saw it was a note from Larry, and apology letter for him, some of Larry's last words on paper.

Dear Sal,
I'm so sorry things ended like this, and I know that things must still be so painful for you, but I needed to give you one last message before I leave you behind.
I just wanted to remind you that I love you, and if I felt that I didnt have to do this, I wouldn't have left you behind. But do me one last favor, dont be sad for too long, okay? I want you to enjoy your life, and I know you'll never be able to forget about me, but I want you to try to heal from this. Clean your cuts until you stop, eat small snacks until you can eat full meals, and take naps whenever you need them if you cant sleep at night.
I love you baby blue, and I'm so sorry that I was never able to give you the life you deserved. See you on the other side,
Larry

Sal's hands shook as he read the last sentence, and he collapsed to the floor, dropping the letter and tucking his knees to his chest.

"Fuck you, Larry, you promised...How can you expect me to ever heal from this?" He asked to no one in particular, just hoping that if Larry was there that he was listening. "I miss you so much, you fucking grease ball..."

~☆~

"Right, I'll let him know. Yup, bye," Ash said, hanging up the phone and walking back into Todd's room.

"Who was that?" Todd asked.

"Lisa. She was calling to ask me to talk to Sal about helping them with Larry's funeral. After all, he knew him best."

"Are you sure now's a good time to ask him?" Neil asked.

"Better now than never, she tried to call him but his phone must be off. If he doesn't come out of his room then I'll just ask him when I bring him some dinner." They all sat in silence for a moment until Ash spoke again. "I just wish I could make this better."

"We all do, but we still don't know how to help him during situations like this," Neil said.

"Of course not, Larry was the only one who did," Todd said.

"God damnit, Larry...he needs you," Ash said, wiping some tears from her eyes.

"What can we do for him, Larry?" Neil asked, knowing he wouldn't get an answer from the one person who would know.

"We could always try to use the super gear boy and attempt to contact him," Todd mentioned.

"Too soon, besides if Larry was still here he'd try to make himself more known," Neil said.

He nodded in understanding and just let them sit in silence, feeling as if it was the best thing he could do for all of them right now.