Various Tales from The Elder Scrolls (AU)

What Does Beauty Feel Like?

The calmed and quiet sounds of the deep night swirled about me, both near and distant, blended with the bubbling and patter of water as I sat near the fountain behind the palace.

"Where to so late, brother?" I recalled Hlin asking me not long ago, "It is dark outside."

"No difference to me," I retorted, feeling about for my hooded cloak and walking stick.

My nightly outings were so often I rarely ever missed them, but Hlin always asked me where I was going. I did not mind, I was well aware of the many beasts who awoke in the night to hunt.

"Do not wander far."

"The fountain, no farther."

Here I was, at the fountain, no farther. I reached my hand down into the cold water, feeling the energetic yet steady ripples wash over my skin, pricking up the hairs on the back of my neck. The chill of night bothered me very little. Between my cloak and affinity with cooler weather, I was quite comfortable.

The gusts of a sudden wind, joined with the echoing flap of large wings caught my attention. I turned my head towards the sound as my hood blew back, and strands of my hair were tossed into my face.

"Who approaches?" I called.

"It is only I, hin lokom, Keinyolviing."

I recognized the raspy tone as the dov settled to the ground with a thud, causing the slightest of tremors.

"Have the Valkyrie not retired, yet?" I asked, wondering why he was out so late.

"The maidens have, but I am not prepared to rest. Zu'u los ni laagus. But what of you, hin lokom, why are you out so long after the light has vanished?"

"Enjoying the eve," I replied, reaching for where I had leaned my stick against the fountain, "I like to...listen to the peace before I turn in for the night."

I caught the smooth pole in my hand and stood, breathing deeply and filling my lungs with the cool dampness.

"Kynareth certainly has gifted us with a beautiful night," the dov said.

I sighed deeply, turning my face upward. There was only darkness for me, I always wondered what the world looked like, what my family members looked like, what I looked like-- though I'm certain that last one would disappoint me rather greatly. Everything was just... dark, shapeless, void. I often wondered if this was what it would be like for one with sight to stare into the depths of Ginnungagap, the bottomless abyss.

"I wish I could see it... I really do."

I heard dirt and stones sweep beneath the dragon as he moved nearer to where I now stood.

"But, you can see it," he stated, "Hear it in your ears, feel it on your skin, breathe the scent of it into your chest, taste its freshness on the air-- you do not need your vision, hin lokom, you have four other senses at your disposal."

"I can only wonder what I'm missing," I groomed my hair back, "they say that Vidar's garden is quite beautiful-- I want to know what that is, what it means. How does it feel to see something beautiful?"

"Have you been there before?"

"I have."

"Have you smelled the flowers? Held them in your hands? Listened to the rustle of the leaves and tasted the fruits that grow there?"

"I have...but what does that--"

"How did that make you feel?"

"How did it... make me feel?"

"Geh, answer that."

"Hmm…It made me feel..."

I paused, trying to remember the feeling of breathing in the scent of flowers. I smiled slightly as I recalled just earlier today when I had been there, while Vidar cared for his plants. The flowers' fragrance was sweet, the petals were soft to the touch, the birds sang in the trees as the soft breeze whispered through the leaves-- it made me feel... a sense of enjoyment, contentment, a warmth, an unexplainable feeling slowly rising inside my body and pressing gently against my ribs. I broke out in a smile as I gripped my walking stick, leaning on it a little.

"Well?"

"I believe I'm beginning to understand what you mean," I replied, "I'll have to think about it more, but I'm glad we spoke of this. You have made a point to me, Keinyolviing."

"I am glad," I heard him spread his wings, feeling a small puff of air on my face, "Pruzah vulon, hin lokom-- sleep well."

The dov beat his wings against the air with a thunderous sound, blowing up dust with the gusts he caused.

"I shall," I called after him, "thank you, again."

The sounds of the dragon's flight grew more distant, I turned back to the palace, steadily making my way back to the entrance, I had stayed out long enough for the night.

The snapping and crackling of the tinder in the fireplace met my ears as I entered, closing the door behind me with a thump. Distantly I could now hear the sound of Thor's snoring. I heard a book fall closed, pages whispering together-- Hlin was still awake. I tugged my cloak down off my shoulders and reached out, feeling for where to hang it.

"Back so soon, Hodur?" she asked as I hung the cloak and leaned my walking stick against the wall.

"I've been out late enough," I replied, smiling as I walked to where the stairs would lead up to my room, "I'm retiring now... goodnight sister."

"Goodnight, little brother."