Phoenix

Chapter 4*Revised*

               Wei Wuxian froze heart hammering in his chest. His blood pumping too loudly in his ears to focus on anything else. Trying to work overtime but slowing down as they were no longer locking gazes.  Mind racing he thought of any and every lie or excuse he could use to save himself. There weren't many but he still had a few excuses the Sect leaders had arranged for him. 

             This was his soulmate though and though vampires were known for being dubious, his inner phoenix valued loyalty to a mate above all. Even if he knew logically that they could never be together Wei Wuxian had already accepted the cold jade as his to love and protect always. 

            He had fallen for the boy's kindness that others seemed to overlook because of his cold demeanor. His sense of justice was inspiring enough that Wei Wuxian had hope again that not all the world was full of greed. Lan Wangji was like a warm beacon amongst the cold darkness that enveloped his life most of the time. Plus had Wei Wuxian not said that while in Gusu he would embrace the link with his mate while he could? Of course, he had. In other words, lying to the jade was not an option when every one of his micro-expressions showed care.

          With a defeated sigh he answered softly staring at the ground. "Ah Lan Zhan, you can't tell anyone else please or I will be killed. Okay? ....So I am part vampire so my heart will not beat unless my soulmate and I make direct eye contact." Startled Lan Wangji stepped closer "Vampires have mates?" 

           Now Wei Wuxian was upset he knew most people saw vampires as greedy monsters but, seriously WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!  His soulmate insinuating as such was frustrating. "WHAT THE HELL LAN ZHAN? We are not just monsters do we not deserve to be loved too?! Oh, maybe you think the only thing on my mind is how much blood I can spill! For your information, most vampires are pacifists who would rather not get involved in your human issues. Even the massacre my mom committed was because my father, her mate was enslaved in the Jiang sect. All she asked of them was to release her mate but NOOOOOOO a phoenix is too important a treasure to release. You don't fuck with someone's mate EVER! I'm hurt Lan Zhan do I not deserve to know there is someone out there who could love me even if I can never be with them? Should I just live my life grateful to be an asset without someone who cares for who I really am and not what I am or what I can do for them? ....Are you really so cruel?" 

           By the time he stopped his rant, he was shaking in rage. Large tears of pain cascaded down his face without stopping. He paced around the room without looking at Lan Wangji before collapsing on the floor in heart-wrenching sobs like a puppet with its strings cut. 

            Suddenly he found his face carefully pressed onto a hard chest that smelled of Sandalwood. " Lan Zhan..... I already know I can never have my mate but will you really deny me knowing he is out here? Am I that unlovable that I shouldn't even get to watch him be happy from afar, to protect him from the shadows? Can I not even have that?" Wei Wuxian sounded completely broken in Lan Wangji's arms. 

             The boy's arms tightened almost crushingly around Wei Wuxian trying to offer any comfort he could give. " Wei Ying it sounds like you already know who your soulmate is. Why do you think you can never have him?" Wei Wuxian seemed to pull himself together at Lan Wangji's gentle question. To Lan Wangji's befuddlement, Wei Wuxian pulled away from him and started untying his robes. He opened the top of his robes in front of Lan Wangji who paled horrified at what he saw on Wei Wuxian's chest. 

          "I know who he is, but unlike my father, I will never be free. Even most supernatural beings wouldn't be able to free me from this." There was a lotus-binding array branded into Wei Wuxian's skin. Lan Wangji stared at the brand and the purple veined whip marks over Wei Wuxian's back in horror. 

            " As far as I am concerned Lan Zhan I am making the most of it. I will take advantage of being near him now and enjoy what I will never again have. I will love him and protect him to the best of my abilities without getting him involved in my mess. Then I will return to Yummeng to be their sun just like my father was before me. I just want to love him even if it's from afar. Even if only as a friend so I can be there when he needs me." Hesitantly Lan Wangji placed his hand on the brand and looked at Wei Wuxian's eyes to make sure it was okay to touch. His breath hitched eyes widening letting Wei Wuxian know that Lan Wangji had felt the moment his heart had kickstarted.

            Wei Wuxian looked away on the verge of tears again allowing his heart to stop beating. He didn't want to see the disgust on Lan Zhan's face. The rejection he would receive already felt crushingly heavy. Now he couldn't even have the next few months silently by Lan Wangji's side. He would push Wei Wuxian away as the monster he was or would realize that he was too much trouble for an owned thing. That was all Wei Wuxian was a thing to be used, a monster, there was no human aspect to him.

           With gentle fingers, Lan Wangji grabbed Wei Wuxian's clenched jaw turning his face back to him till their eyes locked again. Soft lips pressed to his making the world around him explode in colors or was that his fire wrapping carefully around them at different temperatures? He flung his arms around Lan Wangji trying to deepen the kiss and press closer to his mate. Lan Wangji let his hands reach out to grasp Wei Wuxian's lean thighs picking him up. He sat them both carefully on the bed with Wei Wuxian straddling him. It was when he felt Lan Wangji's hands wandering over the scars on his back that Wei Wuxian came back to his senses. He jumped off the boy as if scalded.

         "Wait, wait Lan Zhan I am part Vampire if I mark you by accident in any way you will be bound to me forever. I can't do that to you Lan Zhan you deserve so much better than what I can offer you. I'm not even as good as a rogue cultivator. I am an owned thing ..... I can't....." He was crying softly again begging Lan Wangji to understand. 

           Lan Wangji stared at him critically for a few moments taking everything in. " If I can free Wei Ying... Will Wei Ying be mine?" Wei Wuxian fixed his robes and stared at the ground hopelessly. "Lan Zhan It's no use I-" Lan Wangji cut him off looking perfectly put together. "Answer" Wei Wuxian looked at him sadly remembering the things his mother had to do for his father. He didn't want to give Lan Wangji false hope and yet he found himself nodding slowly. "Always"