The Bad Boy's Girl

Chapter 44

KATE'S POV

The afternoon reflected my mood. There was no sun in sight; it was just cloudy with chilly winds. I cheered up several times since lunch but my mind always wandered back to those sad thoughts.

I realeased a sigh as the chilly wind passed through my brunette locks and the hairs on my skin stood in protest. It was not unbareable since sping was on it's way.

I stood at the school's entrance steps waiting for Blake to bring the car around. I wanted to go with him but decided not to show my clinginess and wait. No one likes a clingy girlfriend anyway.

A sea of students passed by and there were a few "Later kate. See ya", said before they descended the steps. Even though a crowd was walking pass. My shoulders did not even get a bounce nor did anyone touch me whatsoever. I was starting to feel as though RoseValley was finally accepting me. Slowly. I still did not have any friends. I hadn't spoken to Camryn since yesterday but there was hope there, right?

Blake pulled up with the car.

The heater was on low and so was the radio.

The drive to the pet store was silent As usual Blake was in a world of his own. Sometimes, I wish he would share his thoughts so I can at least feel as though we are on the same page.

I exitted the car.

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Mere minutes before it was time to close the store, my lips decided that they could no longer hold back and asked a question when Liz passed me on her way to the front desk where the cash register was. "Have you ever been sad when there was absolutey nothing to be sad about?" I said looking up to meet liz now attentive gaze.

"Darling, if you know that there is nothing to be sad about then it simply means that the problem lies within you. You should not let your anxiety get the best of you. What is the cause of your anxiety? Is it Blake?" Liz said concerned.

"I just feel as though there is a space that is growing between us and if I don't do something about it. I will lose him." I whispered looking down too ashamed of what expression she might wear when she realized just how meek and insecure I really am.

"Ever since he was a boy, communication was never his strong suit and since his mother's death; he has been doing everything on his own.Never wanting to bother anyone. So what you may interpret as him creating space and distance may just be him busy working towards a suitable future for you both. He is always thinking ahead and planning for any and everything. Reach out to him. Let him hear your concerns." Liz responded sounding so sure almost crippling my doubts in an instant.

"What if he thinks me weak and insecure" I voiced.

"Things never turn out as bad as we think but over and over we blow them out of proportion and make them into monstrous obsticles that we dare not pass but have to because it is all just a learning progress that will help you to grow and mature into the person you are meant to be. Face your fears head on. Have faith in Blake and in yourself Kate. If you don't your anxiety may ruin everything and then you will become stuck. You have to learn in order to move on" Liz said building my courage.

"Okay I am going to tell him before everything spiral out of control." I replied with hope shimmering from my eyes.

I went back to getting ready and helping Liz to close the store.

Before she left; she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

I stood by the door waiting for Blake but after my feet began to hurt and I grew tired of dancing from one leg to the other. I started my walk home. I was sure that Blake had a good reason for not coming. Liz told me to have faith and I trust him. So I wont feed my anxiety.

I quickened my pace to keep the biting cold at bay. The house was now in sight so soon I can warm myself up.

I opened the door and stepped in rubbing my arms warming them up.

Heading up the stairs to shower and change into something comfortable; I let my mind run over all the ingredients I had in the house so I could decide what I would cook after my shower.

I was hungry and cooking always cheered me up. Especially, when I had someone to feed.

One and a half hours later, the rice and stew chicken was done. I shared my plate and sat in the couch and turned on the television that I never used. Camryn loved movies and maybe I should start watching them too. To brighten my life and mood. It will be a good distraction until Blake comes. I scrolled down to hallmark movies and started walking a movie about a girl returning to her hometown and falling in love during christmas.

Blake still did not show so I went upstairs to do my homework remembering the times when he would stay out for hours. I may just have to leave the conversation for tomorrow then.

Half way through the mathematics assignment, I heard the door open and close. My mood perked up but I acted as though I was too busy to notice. He made his way up the stairs and into the room.

"Hey Kat; sorry for not picking you up, it slipped my mind. How are you?" He said taking off his shirt and stepping into the bathroom.

I did not answer of course because there was no way he would hear me if he was in the bathroom. He probably just said it as a greeting and not actually expected an answer.

I continued on the question. Still happy that he was home.

He pushed open the bathroom door and stuck his head out, "Huh, how are you?" he repeated staring at me.

I smiled, "I am happy Blake" I said.

"Good, give me a sec I will be there soon" He responded before shutting the door and showering.