The Bad Boy's Girl

Chapter 26

Kate's POV

He came down and then we headed to the car.

I'm gonna start with holding hands. Seems easy enough. All I have to do is reach out right?

The perfect time to try this was in the car but I felt so nervous. It's always so easy to Pep talk but when its time for action! I blush, play with my fingers, feel sweaty like I get so nervous. 

Maybe my fidgeting was obvious because Blake reached out with his free hand and held my hands. Well that's one way of getting the job done but for some reason. It wasn't enough. I didn't feel satisfied. In fact I was disappointed. Yes i could breathe a little easier but is this how I want this relationship to be? Me always depending on him to keep this relationship together and moving forward? He fights for me and in every situation where I need help. There he is in his 6 feet glory, smirk, ruffled hand styled hair, muscle toned body and ever so capable and smart self coming to rescue me! What have I done this whole entire relationship? His teasing dropped to an all time low. He always seems so lost in thought. Like can a good girl, one so disgustingly introverted keep someone so handsome, smart and popular with the girls. Someone who was an Idol to all man whores. I got to leave my comfort zone. I cant let him bring this relationship alone. I want to walk next to him as his equal. 

I am going to kiss him and not just a shy touch of the lips for the sake of teasing. If I don't kiss him by the end of the day then I'll definitely leave him. If I can't risk it all then I don't deserve any at all. 

For the entire ride I held on to his hand for dear life. All too soon we got to school. He parked then we got out. I hurried out the car wanting to hold his hands and never ever let go.

5 centimeters. A mere 5 centimeters too far he started walking too fast and when I went to grab his hand I missed. Soon his hand left my field of vision as my head was still looking down with my eyes locked on to the position of where his hand was. He must have been buried in thought again. He didn't notice and I felt as though he'd someday, very soon, walk out of my life. 

I got my books and walked to class. Blake didn't show up for class. Coincidentally, neither did Jess. Her minions were there looking as chirpy and cheerful as ever. 

Come to think of it. Why was this past month so peaceful? Not even a hushed tease, a bad glance not even an 'accidental' push. Did Blake promise Jessica that he'd return after a month if she played nice? Why did Blake to my house that night? Why didn't I ever question it until now? Why was I so accepting? Was it because I was afraid? Why have I been sleeping next to this boy, cooking and letting him into my house. I knew what I was doing this entire time. I was aware. Incredibly aware. So why. I know about the dangers of this stuff. 

It's because, I was lonely. He didn't seem like a bad person and i had hope that even someone like me would be worthy of love. In all honesty. Its been just 2 months and I don't know much about Blake. He doesn't know much about me. Yes our situation is different than the rest since we live together and all but still.

Doubts continued to weigh heavily on my mind. Before I knew it. It was almost lunch time, a few minute to; to be precise. I still haven't seen Blake. Haven't seen Jessica either. Its as though my world got bigger. I felt alone. Thoughts continued to mercilessly pressure my mind, awaken my anxiety and to cut away the meagre  pieces of self-esteem I had.

However, I knew That it was all a distraction. My pathetic way of coming up with excuses as to why we shouldn't be together. No two situations are the same. This is my life and i can be a main character too. I can be the girl in the story if I try hard enough. Even if the possibility is slim Blake can be the guy too. Even if the odds are against it. Why cant this be real? 

My heart beat started to increase. My hands felt clammy and I was all too aware of my surroundings. I could feel every hair and pore on my skin. All the noises around me flooded in. I can do it. 

Right on signal. The bell rang.

I jumped out of my seat and grabbed my books. I rushed to my locker. Then thought of all the possible places he could be. The seat at the back of the school! Was the first thought that popped into my hand. I went to the car park but it was there. I slowly walked back into the building. I said that I gave up. But there was still a small part of me that was still looking. on my way to the cafeteria. I lifted my head. 

His back was turned to me but that outfit I knew all too well. Strong shoulders that had shouldered my troubles. It was definitely him. It look as though he was about to leave school. Without me? 

He was talking to someone, but I couldn't see who. I quickened my steps. when i was just a few feet away my mouth opened.

'I never asked you to enter my life but you did; and you no longer have the right to walk out!' I said.

I wasn't sure of my pitched but he had to hear. 

Without thinking twice and making the most of this adrenaline. I turned him around and in the same second without looking at his face I tipped up, closed my eyes and quickly closed the spaces between our lips. 

I couldn't look at his face because I didn't want my nervousness to return. However, his musky scent flowed into my nostril once again confirming that it was him. I deepened the kiss. It took a while but his hands snaked around my waist and he returned the kiss with just as much if not more intensity.

Slowly my surroundings made it self known.

Gasped filled the air.

But now more than ever I didn't stop and I kept my eyes closed.