Loving You

Part 2- Birthday gift

I think i need a month to open all my birthday gifts. I have a few section of gifts at my hall. A gift from my lovely fans, a gifts from friends and a gift from family. As usual, like every year i will received a present from him. It annoy me so much. I hope he will forgot about my existance and let me go for real. Every year he never forget to remind me about his promise. I never agreed to that stupid promise. I wish to be free like a bird. I have been looking at his present for two weeks already. I was a bit suprise when i see his parcel at my party. Is he coming by himself . I really hope that the parcel never reach me but now i start unboxing his parcel.
He must be crazy. I will fight him to death if he force me to stay with him. I'm not young boy anymore. I throw the key house he give me into dustbin. Then i can see a card which is sweet but full of threat message.
"Expecting to see you before 15th of january. Happy birthday and merry crismast. We will celebrate our fifth annivesary at our home peacfully or we will celebrate it with all you lovely fans "
He must be crazy, what is his plan. I am boiled with anger. I reach for my phone and look for his number.

P, what are you trying to do i ask him.
Nothing, i just want to celebrate our anivesary he said calmly.
There is no way i will stay with you, i wont leave thai i said angrily.
No need, we will stay here he said again.
I was shocked. Are you in thailand now, you promise to leave me alone i scream to him. Yes i promise to let you alone until last two weeks. Actually its already late from my schedule he said casually. Cant you here me, i dont want to live with you. I said firmly. Ok, that mean you can see our story on prime news tonight. Stop it, there is no same gender marriage here in thai. Just go back i wont be with you i said again. Then without any reply he end our call and a few second later i receive a video of our marriage. "This video will be viral with a few second if i tag the supertar. I expect to see you at home after i comeback from my work" he directly threaten me.
I look at my wacth. Its already 4 pm. I try to call him but was ignore by him.
He sound differ from last 5 years. I hurrily run to the dustbin and find the home key back. I run to my car and fastly drive to his home.

Now i am at his big mansion gate. I try my best to calm down. This is not my plan. I will do anything to make him divorce me. With a heavy heart i drive through the gate that has been open since 30 minute ago. When i reach the door , an old butler welcome me with his sweet smile. Welcome home young master, please come in. I just nod, refuse to be friendly with the old man.
Please follow me young master the butler politely said. I walk slowly behind the butler with my head down. Young Master the butler call me and i look up to him, i a bit startle when a group of people waiting to give their respect to me. This is house helper, Young master can ask us for anything the butler carefully explain.
Its ok, i wont be long here, i will wait for your master. Where should i wait, i ask the butler. All the helper look at each other then give me a strange look.
Please follow me young master the butler said and walk to the stairs. I can wait at the garden or anywhere i quickly said. Its master direct order that to bring young master to your room, please follow me the butler said. Since this fellow man only do his job, i dont want to make it difficult for him, so i keep silent and follow him to room. This is your room young master. Master will be back at 8 pm the butler inform me before i ask. Thank you i said and get into the room.

He never change, live in all luxury like a fantasy. I look around the room and only can smirk. This is not what i want. Until now he still failed to understand me. I am not barbie or kent who love to be pampered. We will never be on the same page. We have different life value. I admit since i was young until last five years, all my life was pampered and spoiled by my dad. I never lift a finger to do anything. I have a helper to do everything for me. I was spoiled to the point that i dont have anything i want anymore. My life become dull. I become my dad doll and silently follow him to all his gala event. Wearing my sweet smile with all people will try to flatter me to be in my dad good side. I slowly lost my self. I want to be someone that can contribute to something. I was not allowed to do anything. All my life i was home schooling. I never know anyone around my age. When i ask to do something, my dad lovingly said, no need sweety, dad will do it for you. Every single request will be fulfil by my dad except for something that make me out of his sight. At some point i become a rebel teenagers who become my dad headache. I break anything that adore by my dad, i become a rude son and always in angry. I look like a prince outside but in reality i just a beutiful bird in a golden cage. I dont have any right for myself. I try to hurt myself a few times untill i found p mile, one of my dad close friend son. I was 12 years old at that time. He is five years older than me. For the first time i see someone around my age and felt so happy. I immediately like him and become a puppy who follow him everywhere. I know he only be good to me because of his and my dad. I really dont care how he so cold toward me. I just love sitting next to him even without a word for a day. I love to see him study and focus on his job. He look like a robot who only work and to please our parent. I was told that he was trained to be next heir in thailand. He was working since 16 years old. Somehow i felt sorry for him. At least i can enjoy myself and not burdened with all the training and study. I was only need to behave and become a good boy. I only can see him once a week, but only for that meeting, i become a good boy that my dad love. I wait for him patiently every week even i received a cold treatment from him. I talk and ask many question to him but only get a few response or he ask me to sit down properly and be obedient boy. This continious meeting finally stop when i was 15 years old. He casually told me to stop requesting to see him every week. He told me that he have so many things to do and a very busy person. I was so shock and hurt so much. I thought he is happy seing me every week after a long time. I will come to you at the right time he said and leave me alone. I was crying all night after he leave me. After that day i only see him a few times a year because of our family function. At first i excited to see him but he become more distance and try to avoid me. He come because he ask to not because his willingness. I slowly accept that he dont like me and i wont pestering him anymore.
He is the first and the last one i try to aproach and be friend with. After that i become lone wolf and shut all people around me. I just live as my dad wish.
I live a lonely life surround by all this luxury and thousands of people. I only know about life through my reading and internet. At 19 i try to end my life after i see p mile and his girlfriend at his birthday party. Even i dont see him anymore, i never fail to send him birthday wish every year. I dont expect him to invite me but he dont even reply to my message.I felt so hurt that i want to leave everything behind. I unconciously take overdose sleeping pills that bring me to emergency room

AN: SUICIDE IS A BIG ❌️. PLEASE LOVE OUR SELF AND FIGHT FOR OUR SELF. NO ONE WILL LOVE US MORE THAN OURSELF