Loving You

Part 12- Frustrated

I am glad when we arrive at home he received an urgent call. He put me into our bed, after a few more kiss, he go to his study. I felt a bit frustrated, just like daddy they love and focus on their work more than me. 
I just chilling and playing with my phone. I look at our chat group. They are planning for football game. I felt left out.
"Can i join" i ask my friend.
"Of course you can"luke answer
"Where are you all this week" win ask
"Are you sick"  asked joss
Yeah, i am ok now, i'll try to join i said.
I start getting ready for night soccer,  before that we are going to have early dinner.
I walk to my car and happily go to meet with my friends. Honestly i forgot about p mile. I am used to live alone now. I can do whatever i want.
I am really enjoy our outing. I have so much fun. I dont know why but since p mile come back and claim me, i always felt worry  and scare. 
Are you ok bai, win ask me looking at my toes which now bleeding. Dont worry, i just need to used slippers for a weeks i said. All my friends look worry so i pretend i can handle the pain. My toe become black because one of my friend accidently step on my feet during our game.

I was in pain, i try to hide it when i am with my friend. I dont want to make them worried. I already have my pain killer in my bag. I just need to soak my feet in warm water and sleep.
I slowly walk into the house, i never expect to see p mile look so serious waiting for me. I felt a bit scare, but i did not do anything wrong. I casually walk and try to avoid him. Where are you going he ask me firmly. I really dont like the tone of his question.  Not your  business i said and walk to my room.
I still not finish he said coldly. What, i ask loudly start feeling iritating.
I am in pain, i dont want to fight with him now. You are my husband, i expect you at least inform me before going out he said still in firm tone.
I look at him coldly. You cant change my life overnight, i never promise to be your doll again, if you dont like it leave me alone, i am happy to leave you and this house i reply to him. I am happy to escape from this cage i said and run to my room. I was exhausted and in pain. After taking my pain killer, i fall asleep. Without my knowledge, p mile call our family doctor to check on my wound.
When i wake up early morning, i cant see p mile beside me. I felt a bit pain and look at my clean toes which already treated. So he know i am hurt.  I felt  guilty toward p mile because of my attitude last night. I look at the medicine at my side table. After refresh i walk to dining area, but i cant see p mile. I look around and was greet by our helper. Good morning young master. I nod and still looking around. Master already left for work he said and prepare for my breakfirst. I dont know why, i felt dissapointed and sad.
The doctor will come and treat your injury before you go for work. The helper tell me. I just nod with heavy heart.

I never felt like this before. I cant wait to go home and see p mile. I felt guilty. I know i am behaving like spoiled brat but i dont mean to be rude to him. I know he is worried. That how he is.  I walk to my room waiting for him. Normally he will come back before dinner. I know he try his best to come back early.  I heard a knocked at my door. Young master, your dinner is ready. I open the door and look at our helper. I will wait for master i said and walk to the hall. Master already inform us that he will be late, young master can have your dinner first. I hurrily check my phone but receive no message from him. Please young master. Our helper guide me to dining area.
I have no appetite to eat. After a few spoon i leave the table and the helper again remind me. Young master, dont forget your medicine he said dutifully.
I look at him. Master ask me to remind you he said politely. I nod and walk to my room.

Its been two days, i felt like living alone again. I will wait for him tonight i promise to myself. I will be in jakarta for 3 days for our concert and event tomorrow. I need to see him today. If not i only can see him next week.
I look at my phone. Its already 11 pm. I felt restless. Where is he i talk to myself.
I wake up after hearing my alarm clock. I smile when i see now i am in our room, he must be home. I look around and cannot see a trace of him. I run to the dining area but only greet by our helper. Where is master i ask him. He already leave for work he said and look warmly.
Thank you i said and turn around. I cant let our helper see me cry. With tearing eyes, i start packing for my trip. When i open my wardrop, i can see most of his cloth was not there. I felt a bit panic and run to our helper. Is master come back home last night i ask him. Yes young master, he sleep in other room he reply before i ask. What do you mean i ask. He sleep next to study room. He reply again.
I cant explain my heart now, i felt angry, guilty, frustrated and sad at the same time. Thank you i said and back to packing my cloth. I dont know why but i cant stop tearing.

We already arrive at jakarta and now resting before press conference tonight.
What are you waiting win ask me when i keep looking at my phone. I just shake my hand and leave him for toilet. I wash my face and try to calm my self.
Lets eat first win said. I shake my head. I am not hungry i said. But you are not eating since this morning. Are you on diet or what he ask me worriedly.  No i just dont feel to eat i said and lay on our bed. I start scroll down on my twitter account.

"Great collabration between thailand and Uk. Thanks to billionaire Khun mile and and beautifull heiress from london who make this project real. It will help a lot of local for new job opportunity."
I read an article and look at their huging picture.

"Billionaire Mile and young heiress make a good project and look good together"

" very beautiful young heiress and smart career woman"

"Expected from billionaire Khun Mile"

I cant hold anymore and start crying.
What wrong win ask me. I hug him tight looking for support. What are you looking at he ask me again. Ignore those haters he said and pat my back.
Stop being a cry baby, we promise not to cry over those stupid thing he said again. I nod and wipe my tears. He give me my favorite yogurt. At least eat this he said. I  nod and take the yogurt.
I am glad that our PC went smoothly. I really dont have energy for anything now. What wrong with me, i have been living alone for years. This is my life before he come. What make me so angry and sad. 

Daddy, i answer my dad call with a cry. What happen sweety he ask me. I miss you i said try to hide my problem with p mile.  He just laugh and said. You never miss me last 5 years now you are crying missing me he teasing me. No, i miss you too before i said slowly. I know i just kidding he said laugh softly. We have a small chat and i am glad he is ok during his treatment. He need to maintained his mood for better recovery. So i need to be carefull and pretend nothing happen. Mile will be missing you too he said. I cant believe he let you go alone this time he said with chukle. What do you mean daddy i ask him. Not even a single day he not missing you last 5 years. He come to me daily because he felt litle closer with you. Some time he sleep i your room. He is a strict business man during day and become a sad lover at night. I still dont know how he survive all this time. I am glad both of you together now he said and suddenly silent. Daddy, i call him. I am sorry sweety he suddenly said. I am sorry for preventing him to meet you before, i was so scare. You are so young and confuse he said slowly. I just want to protect you he said sadly. Its ok dad, its a past story i said try to control my shaking voice. Dad i need to go. My team call me for meeting l lied to him. Ok sweety, have fun, i love you he said. Love you too daddy i said ended the call.
I drop my phone. I cant breath after getting new information from my dad.