Loving You

Part 8 - Miss u

I am now laying on hospital bed. I felt so weak and scared. I hope no one know my condition. When i wake from my sleep i was alone in a big luxury ward. I just wait for someone to help me.
Its nothing new for me, when you are alone in this big world. During last five years i really hate being sick. It make me miss my dad so much.
Actually i felt a bit dissapointed, i thought P mile will be by my side when i wake up. But nothing change just like before he leave me.
I slowly reach out my hand try to grab my phone on the table. I nearly fell down but someone hold me tight.
Are you ok brighty, a voice that i miss so much.. i slowly push his hand and turn to other side. I will cry if i see him. Daddy i call him loudly in my heart. I miss him so much. But i dont want to be his doll back. I still cant forgive him how he force me to married p mile.
He always fulfil all my request. But he choose to deny my request for the first time 5 years ago. When i really need him the most. I dont want to be a burden to p mile who have a wonderful life. He have a girlfriend he love and a lots of friend after he stop visit me. I can see he is on news everyday.  I dont know why but i felt really hurt when i see he keep changing his partner. I still waiting for him to visit me, but deep down in my heart i knew that he already forget about me. At first i try to contact him everyday but mostly i was ignored. It take months for me to stop messaging him. Then i only allowed my self to wish him birthday even i never have a response from him until that unfortunate day, where i lost to myself.
I never intent to hurt myself. I dont even know how it happen. When i wake up i only see how my dad was in mess and cry hardly for the first time. During my recovery i was determine to start new life. I will live for myself and will find own hapiness. Thats why i refuse to see p mile. I want to be strong and start living for myself.
And that morning, the day p mile allow me to walk out his life is the end of our relation. At some point i hope that he prevent me on that regretful morning. I'll take is as the prove that he really dont need me in his life. I will never trust or rely on his promise after he break his promise to visit me when i was so lonely.  The day i need to rely on his promise to live.

I close my eyes and shake badly.  Brighty my dad call me again. Sweetheart please he plead me. I can hear his broken voice.
Daddy is sorry he said. I continue hug myself pretend not listen to him.
Please look at me baby. Please come back to me he desprately plead me.

Daddy, dont stress yourself, i heard p mile voice. Please sit, you are still recovering he said again. I turn to my dad after hearing that. He look so old and a bit pale. No need mile. I need to see him he said looking at my eyes lovingly.  Are you ok brighty he ask me again. I can only look at him without any response. I see p mile bring a chair to my dad. What happen to him i ask myself.  He have heart problem, he cant be in too much stress. He just survive heart attacked 3 weeks ago. P mile explain to me when he look at me.
Now i cry harder, am i being selfish and unresponsible son. Daddy, i call him. Yes sweety,  are you ok now he ask me immediately. Daddy i call him again loudly and now in his hug. Daddy is here, dont worry he said to me just like before. His love never change, its just me who leave him behind. I am sorry sweetheart he said again. I hug him tight. Daddy, p mile is hurting me i shamelessly complaint to my dad. And p mile look a bit shy but still stand there with no words. Its ok , daddy will scold him he said.  He kiss my head my nose and cheek, like he always do. I miss you sweety he said again with tearing eyes.
Daddy i want to live with you, can i, i ask my dad infront of p mile. I need to grab this opportunity and ask my dad help to leave p mile. My dad look guilty and look at p mile. He can live with you this week but i will bring him back next week p mile firmly answer. I try to protest but i cant say any word when i look at him. All i can do is sulky and cry hard in my dad hug. When i tired of crying i lay down and close my eyes pretend to sleep.

Dont be too hard on him i heard my dad scold p mile. My heart was so happy, i know i can trust my dad. He is fragile kid, be softer with him he said again. Yes dad i heard p mile said. Lets go dad, you need to rest now, your driver are waiting p mile said. I felt my dad kiss my forhead. Dad will waiting for you sweety then leave me alone.

You can stop pretending to sleep now p mile said after sending off my daddy.
Doctor will be here to check you again. If everything is ok i will send you your dad house tomorrow he said again.
I glare at him angrily. He just chuckle and kiss my cheek. Be ready he said.

Thank god everythings was ok, i was just exhausted. I glare at p mile when he proudly smile and wink to me. I am allowed to leave. After change my cloth, p mile lift and carry me to his car. I try to refuse but he just prerend to be deaf.