Memories of the Past

Chapter 3

I had some reflection time after that. There seemed to be nothing else to do at the moment.

I thought all the way back to when I first met Anakin. I was so young and naive. My whole life had been about studying, thinking, learning, but not actually doing. Anakin taught me something that day - overconfidence without experience is a dangerous game.

I remembered the time R2 was lost. Anakin crashed his fighter (by accident of course) and R2 was stolen. Anakin was devastated and would not rest until R2 was back in his hands. It makes me wonder what he's feeling right now when everything has been stolen from him.

I thought of all the lessons Padme taught me. She and Anakin took turns teaching me about their respective areas of expertise. Anakin taught me how understand physical war, while Padme taught me how to politically conduct war. They were both great people before. Now, they are both gone.

The first time I met Lux came to my mind. He really showed me how clueless I was about what I was fighting. The Jedi dealt with the officers, not the common people. It made me question the Jedi's actions. Are the Jedi really doing what's best for the galaxy?

I started to cry as I remembered the feeling of realizing that the Jedi are just as bad as the Separatists. They didn't care about individual people, just the general picture and flow of life. The facts pointed towards my guilt, but as people, they knew I would never do anything like the bombing of the Temple.

They were the same as the Separatists. They were greedy and corrupt. They didn't even consider the possibility that the facts came through an unreliable source. I couldn't serve a group that functioned like that. That's why I left.

Anakin almost went with me. I could tell he knew I was doing the right thing, as much as it hurt him. I can't believe he ended up joining the opposite side as a solution, though.

I thought about all the times I'd had with Anakin. All the great learning experiences, the good times, the stressful times, and the sad times. The image of Anakin's face during Order 66 came to my mind. He wanted desperately to do the right thing, but wasn't under emotional control.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up. Someone was sending me a transmission.