still, none the wiser (poetry)

laugh

i like myself better when i make you

laugh.

your happiness catches on the

breaks of my little heart,

and then it is

all possible.

♡♡♡♡

i know that it is so

inhumanly hard, most days, for you.

it all makes you sad,

and it all really hurts

and i see that.

i see you.

you think the only way

somebody could ever

love you is

with closed eyes.

but i have seen you in the

brightest light, and

i have felt your darkest parts,

and i know

you deserve better

than superficial.

♡♡♡♡♡

your biggest fear is growing

up to be just like

the woman who was

supposed to raise you.

she loves you, but she did not raise you.

instead, you rose yourself.

and you can't even think about that

man with the hard eyes and

a fire in his throat.

he was so hateful,

and i know he told you,

and showed you,

how fragile love and bones can be.

bruises heal, but that ache

doesn't just fade with the yellow.

and you don't realize it yet,

but nobody grows up.

you will forever be a hurt

little 5 year old,

and a hurt little 10 year old,

and a hurt little 16 year old.

you don't shed skin on

birthdays, just like you don't

shed those scars.

so when you see a street cat,

you'll squeal through the mouth

of 7.

and when you find a cute skirt,

you touch with the hands of 13.

and i hope when you see me,

i am laughed at through the eyes

of your happiest years.

but you will never

exist in this life as

the people who couldn't

love you good enough.

you will grow older,

and you will be so much more.

♡♡♡♡♡♡

you can tell me anything

forever.

i will still be listening

once your voice

has given up on you because

even your silence is

a beautiful song.

you will never be like

your parents, and you can

never be like those other

kids, and you won't ever

be truly alone with your

happiness.

but you have me,

and i can show you how i and all

your past years see the girl

they've always wanted to be.

so, friend.

live like nothing matters

because nothing does.

if you're only born once,

then live so fully that

you are too tired to

want more.

and laugh, so much

that it hurts,

because this hurt is one that 

doesn't leave scars,

and you deserve that.

-V

<3