i want you to want more for yourself.
i want you to move on.
i want you to leave me behind,
to go find someone who
can give you what
you were searching for in
my hollow eyes.
but really, i just want you.
i want to hold you.
i want to talk to you.
i want you to
love me so hard that
i forget all the reasons i
can't do it myself.
love me until i forget
the sharpness of hate.
love me until my
loneliness is a
stranger.
love me, love me, love me.
i want you.
************
never have i felt an
ache so desperate
as i do
when i am alone.
it is a stupid thing, i know,
to wish so hard it hurts.
but pain fills the void
that was born on the day
i let you go.
i have watched it grow, like
a cancer, like a tree,
branching out, destroying
all i have left until i
am nothing but a shadow.
can i be your shadow?
i won't speak, i won't touch.
i will just be,
and i can do that softly.
i can do anything for you.
*********
i know that i am
begging like a child, like a dog,
like a girl drunk on the idea
of someone loving each and
every part of her.
but without our what-ifs,
i truly have no one.
so forgive me for pushing
you away, and forgive me
for wanting you close.
i am just tired and sad,
and i can't let
myself love you like this.
i want you to want more
for yourself,
so make it easier on me,
and start wanting.
you beautiful thing,
start wanting.
-V
YOU ARE READING
still, none the wiser (poetry)
Poetryi grieve for memories, mostly. ☆☆☆☆ these poems are messy attempts to decipher my feelings about messy things. (also I love criticism, plz be mean <3)