one minute || h.s

forty-one

º º º º

Hallie.

It was nine o'clock when the gate finally opened. I looked a mess. Tears-crying had been the only thing I'd done for the past thirty-plus hours. I didn't know what the future held for us. I wasn't sure if we even had a future. Part of me felt disgusting for even telling him I'd slept with Julian, but the other part, the selfish, childish part wanted him to hurt. And really hurt. My heart was entirely broken and that was on him. If he was smart, if he really knew me, he'd know that I'd been lying. If he even remotely knew Julian, he'd know it was all a lie. After arriving back home, my co-producer played the ultimate gentleman. After helping me into one of Harry's t-shirts, he tucked me into bed, refusing to even let my face near his. I had been thanking him over and over again for the way he treated me. The way he took care of me. Any other man in that situation would've probably taken full advantage of the situation, but not Mr. McKenzie. He slept on the couch pit, while the dogs and I occupied the bed. He'd left before Harry called, promising that he'd check in with me later. And he did. After I'd woken back up at four in the afternoon, he arrived with a pint of coconut milk ice cream, wine and coffee. I hugged him and he let me cry and then I apologized for my behavior. He wouldn't allow me to cry much after that. He forced episodes of Workaholics, and it'd be a lie if I said I didn't laugh. But the minute he left around eight, I was back in a depressed slump. When Harry stepped through the front door, his eyes first fell upon the luggage set in the foyer, then on me. He didn't utter a word. He dropped his suitcase down and he leaned on the counter, his face falling into his hands. We stood there for a few minutes. Silently. The dogs gathered around him, wagging there tails excitedly but he stayed where he was. He kept his face in his hands and he didn't say anything. "You're leaving." Just the sound of his voice only a few feet from me had my heart breaking all over again, and my eyes watered entirely.

"I can't-I can't stay. Not right now."

"If-if it's because you slept with him...Hallie, we'll work through it. We'll get through whatever happened-"

"You cheated. I saw-I saw them, the pictures! I saw her on top of you in the bathroom, I saw the kiss-"

"It meant nothing, Hallie-" I cut him off, the broken boom of my voice causing even the dogs to flinch and cower away.

"A kiss always means something! You can't stand here and tell me that you had no control! That's the same bullshït Adam fed to me! I couldn't help it...I had no way of fighting off a one hundred and fifteen pound girl...that's not even an excuse! I'm embarrassed, I'm hurt, my heart...is broken. Completely and utterly broken and that's your fault. You broke my heart. The one person I trusted most in this world...you were my hero. My protector, my everything, Harry-my world and you-I can't breathe, I still can't breathe, Harry."

"You can't leave me-I am not losing you again."

"You've never lost me, Harry. Not until now." Those last three words seemed to strike a cord.

"You fücked him." I stayed silent. "Where? Here? In our bed?"

"Harry-" His demeanor changed instantly, from remorse to anger in seconds.

"Where?!" Now it was me, flinching at the booming volume of his tone.

"I'm not going to Napa tonight. I'm staying in a hotel, but I can't bring the dogs, so I'll pick them up in the morning on my way out."

"You're actually leaving?" This time, when the question was asked, he didn't sound broken. He sounded pissed off.

"I can't-I can't look at you." I tried to hold in my breakdown-my sobs.

"You can't look at me?" A bitter laugh left his pink, chapped lips. "You can't look at me, okay, alright, Hallie." I moved forward to grab my suitcase when he stepped in front of me. "I didn't fück Nadine in our fücking bed!! I didn't fück her at all!!" I wanted my guilt to take over, I wanted to come clean to him, but my anger reigned instead.

"Don't you fücking do this-don't you dare put this on me! You did this-you ruined us-you ruined me! You fücking ruined me!" I wanted to tell him the truth but the way he suddenly turned it around, placing the blame on me...it was something I couldn't-wouldn't sit here and take. "You know...I found something out the night of the party. It was really, really hard and the first person I wanted to cry to-the first person I wanted to tell, was you. I wanted you to hold me and tell me that it was all going to be okay. I wanted the Harry from the hallway that day-telling me that he was in love with me, that I was the only girl for him." He just stood there, breathing heavy, eyebrows furrowed.

"Then why didn't you?"

"Because I wanted you to go to the party. I wanted you to have fun with your friends and I didn't want you to be that guy, the one whose life revolves around their girlfriend. I wanted you to enjoy your night without me dampening it."

"I didn't want to go out. I knew Nadine would be at the party and she'd been trying to-"

"Trying to what?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly upset he'd let this slip. "What has she been trying to do?"

"She's been...just fücking calling and messaging a ton. I kept ignoring her but I knew-I just...I knew going to the party would be a bad idea." I wasn't even going to delve deeper on this.

"You had a choice, Harry. See, I don't know if you remember correctly, but you told me that you didn't want to drink, yet there you were, just too intoxicated to fücking fight her off."

"I don't love her."

"I know you don't."

"Then don't leave me. You owe me that, at least."

"I don't owe you anything." This time, when I grabbed my luggage, he allowed me to do so. "I'll be here around nine, tomorrow morning. Not sure if you'll be here or not-"

"I'll be here." Leaving him, walking away hurt worse than any other pain, but the ache in my heart, that he made-that hole that he drilled in so deep-that was making it just a little bit easier. I turned around once more before walking out. A bitter laugh welcomed my words while he just looked at me, eyes dull and sad, dimples nonexistent and smile nowhere to be found.

"My mom's pregnant. With his kid." As I stepped over the threshold, I heard him let out a pitifully heart-wrenching wail. I still couldn't really breathe.

• • • •

Okay, okay....terrible and short but I had to. Also, wrote this one on my phone (can't sleep) so forgive any messies. Um...so. Truth has halfway come out on Hallie's side. Most of you were correct (proud of you).
Now I actually have to sleep, 8-5 job and I'll be dead if I stay awake any longer...being an adult with responsibilities sucks, just FYI. don't ever grow up. Kyra and I are trying, but like, money needs to happen and we need it so being an adult also needs to happen. We still love you. xo

Oh, also you should follow me on Twitter...if you want. @vous_aimer21