one minute || h.s

forty-six

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Hallie.

Men's laughter from downstairs carried up to my room, courtesy of my dad's Monday night poker party, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed hearing him laugh and have fun with his buddies, especially considering the current situation. He had been unusually chipper though, the past few days and I hoped it wasn't just an act he was putting on for my sake. A quarter to nine, Penny's head lifted up and despite her groggy post sleepy-time state, she seemed alert. Her cock-eyed ears slightly perkier than normal and moments later, Griffin and Patch were following suit. I grunted as I lifted myself out of bed, not at all wanting to trek downstairs to take them out, but knowing I had to. I was greeted by an array of husky hello's and my dad, who had a beer in his hand, kissed my head, eyes aglow and slightly glassed over due to the inebriation. "Pups have to poop?" He asked, smiling brightly.

"Ew dad." I shook my head and laughed while continuing on towards the front door. The sight on the other side-the man standing in front of me, ready to knock-took my breath away. A tidal wave of fear and hope and happiness and anger and sadness hit me hard as I took him in. The bags under his pretty green eyes were dark and heavy and his t-shirt was stained and his hair was greasy and lifeless...he was here. In Napa, he was here. The dogs jumped up on him, each fighting for his attention, but his eyes-his sad eyes stayed glued to mine. "Why are you here?"

"Hallie-"

"Why are you, here? What do you want-what the hell could you possibly want?"

"You. I want you."

"You can't have me, so I'll ask you again. What do you want? What else do you want?!" He reached for me but I jerked away. His jaw visibly clenched.

"Adam. Why are you allowing him back into your life after what he did?" I almost had to laugh at the absurdity of this.

"After what he did?" I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. "What about what you did? You didn't even wait twenty-four hours before continuously making that mistake! It hurt so bad-I've been hurting so bad, and you know what? He's been there. He's been my support while you kept on breaking my heart!"

"Oh, of course he fücking is, Hallie! Of course he is! He's trying to fücking weasel his way back into your pants, is what he's doing!" The veins in his neck protruded intensely as he shouted this. "You're being stupid and naïve-"

"You're being disgusting!"

"He's going to use you. He is going to use you and once he uses you-once he fücks you, he'll drop you and you'll be broken-"

"I'm already broken!" I screamed, my voice much too loud. "You already broke me!"

"Don't do this. Don't let him in." I was emotionally exhausted. My shouting was strained and tears pooled in my eyes.

"I am not yours. I'm not the girl you win back at the end of the movie-I am not a fantasy that you can just make come true! You ruined this. You ruined us, so don't you dare try and tell me what to do now that you've what? Seen the error of your ways?" I knew the tears that were dripping down his unshaven face were ones of anger. "We are over, Harry. We're over-"

"We're not over. We're never going to be over. I am never going to be over you."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you then. You're going to have to adjust to life without me..."

"I can't." He stepped forward and his expression was nothing but sad. "I don't think you know what this last week has been-what it's done to me. I don't think you can even begin to understand. I can't eat, I can't sleep...I can't breathe. Hallie, I can't breathe. You are everything-you're everything and I'm nothing and I can't do this, I can't live without you." It was taking everything in me to stay strong. This was by far the most painful conversation I'd ever had with someone. "Do you still love me? Do you...still love me?"