one minute || h.s

forty-two

Song for this chapter...

The Light by The Album Leaf

You all know how much I adore this tune. Literally and entirely adore it. Also, it fits really well with the mood of the chapter, so, I mean...feel free to check it out if ya want .x

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Harry.

There had certainly been days I'd woken up in my treehouse-esque, Beverly Crest home, feeling annoyed or upset, but most of the time, I was happy. I was always seemingly happy. And a lot of the time, it was due to Hallie. Whether I was going to see her that day or more recently, waking up to her snoring or typing away on her laptop...but upon waking up on this particular day, there was nothing anywhere remotely happy. The same agonizing pain in the pit of my stomach was very much present and the sickness that seemed to overwhelm my entire body, weakening it entirely. It was almost nine o'clock when I finally pulled myself off the couch pit, the dogs following suit. I filled each of their dishes and smiled as they aligned one behind the other, just like the picture Hallie had sent me only days before. As they ate, I gathered everything she'd need; the three extra travel bowls we'd bought them, the tub of kibble...then I went around the house, collecting two out of the six dog beds that were spread around. When she finally stepped through the garage door at 9:15, I felt a breakdown coming all too soon. Her clear face was free of makeup and beautiful, as it always was. "Thanks for getting everything-um, together? Yeah, thanks." I just nodded, if words left my mouth, I'd surely fall to the floor in a bloody mess of horrid sobs. The dogs greeted her one by one, Griffin, being last somehow managed to knock her down about halfway and she tried to hold him up but he was close to a hundred pounds of dog muscle, so I knew she wouldn't be able to.

"I'll load them up in the car." I couldn't stand there-couldn't be within feet of her-without breaking down and begging her to stay. I couldn't do it. Ten minutes later, the dogs were all loaded up into the Comet, Penny and Patch in the back and Griffin, of course, had to be up front. He was definitely a mummy's boy, no doubt about it. When I stepped back, she was walking towards me and the car.

"Thanks." An awfully timid silence filled the air as we struggled to merely stand beside one another.

"About your mum-"

"I can't-I really don't want to talk about it. I can't even look at her right now, so please..."

"Had none of this happened, would you be talking to me about it?" She sighed, inhaling deeply and exhaling harshly.

"Yeah-yes, I would. But right now, I'm doing everything in my power not to collapse in your presence, Harry. I see you and my heart breaks all over again." She went to slip inside the car when I grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Don't go." The two words sounded foreign and pathetic, rolling off my tongue.

"I need time. I need a lot of time right now because..." She squeezed her eyes closed, tears immediately breaking past the tightened lids. "I'm hurting-more than I've ever hurt before. It's the worst-worst pain I've ever experienced and I don't know whether we can move past this. I don't know if I can love you the same way."

"Don't-don't fücking say that!" I gritted my teeth while simultaneously locking my jaw.

"I honestly thought you were better than him." Her words ripped into me-each one stabbing like a serrated dagger. "I thought-I thought you loved me the way you said...but you're worse, Harry. You're so much worse than him because you had my heart. Adam had the words, but you had my heart, I gave you...my heart. Whether you were in a coherent state or not, you took it and you destroyed it. You destroyed me." I couldn't breathe and it was then I realized the tears rolling down my cheeks and the violent sobs wracking my body.

"I'll do anything, Hallie. I'll do anything to make this right, angel, please, don't-don't fücking-you can't leave me. You cannot leave me..." She broke free and slammed the car door shut. While the car reversed and then lurched forward, I followed her, trying and failing to grasp onto the woman that I was losing. The only girl who had ever truly mattered to me. "Hallie, please!" I yelled, "Don't fücking go-don't go-don't leave me! God, don't fücking leave me!" I followed the car down the driveway, shouting my please at her until she disappeared, the heavy gate keeping my property safe from the outside, acting as a barrier between me and my sweet, sweet girl. I wasn't entirely sure how long I sat there for. A crumpled, repulsive, weeping mess at the bottom of my driveway. I couldn't catch a decent breath and I couldn't see past the tears and the darkness that clouded my vision. The sun shone down on me, causing a thick layer of perspiration to form on the surface my skin, that was when I finally pulled myself up. The Los Angeles heat was brutal and I may have even gotten a bit burnt underneath the rays of the blistering sun. Nothing felt right as I walked back inside. Nothing was even remotely right. No matter how long I'd lived in this house before Hallie and I were together, it wasn't home without her. My feet dragged me across the foliage engulfed bridge, to our bedroom. As I looked around, another wave of painful sobs overcame me. I ended up throwing things, ripping the sheets off the bed...anything to rid her from the air. Eventually though, I curled up on the bare mattress, clutching her big, ripped bedtime t-shirt. I cried into it, until the world was just a spinning sphere. No one could have broken me out of the miserable trance I'd buried myself in.