Forbidden (#1)✔️

forty

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

OMGGG we reached 40 chapters and nearly 5k!!!! Thank you guys so much. I can't tell you how much it means!!

I'm thinking of making an Instagram account on either Blaire or Jaxon. Any preferences on who?

thanks toodles. x

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The funeral isn't much of a funeral. It's held in Jax's dining room and only the people who knew him is here.

Basically just, me, Jax, Matteo, Jo and Vince.

We still respect his death by wearing black and celebrating afterwards but it really is the most depressing funeral I have ever been to.

Hell we didn't even hold one for my fake mother or anything.

Jax has been avoiding me since last night when he told me he loved me then fell straight asleep. Was he expecting me to say it back to him whilst he was sleeping or?? Like seriously he should calm down and stop avoiding me.

I will say it, just preferably not to his sleeping face.

Right now he speaks in the corner of the room on the phone, his grumpy and work face is on so I know not to disturb him.

Jo and Matteo keep me company whilst Vince shoves food down his neck to help deal with his hangover.

Stupid men.

"The ball is tomorrow, what time do you want to start getting ready?" Jo asks slurping her champagne. 

Shit it's tomorrow, it must have been moved forward as Jax told me it was weeks away. Hmmm.

"Erm any time, I'll be home all day." I say still staring over at Jax. He seems to be shouting but whispering about it. God this day just needs to end, I hate funerals.

"Alright then." She continues. Vince comes back with a plate full of lasagne and garlic bread.

"Fuckin hell mate, you fat jerk! You stole all the garlic bread." Matteo shouts looking at the 4 slices on his plate.

I can't help but laugh at them, arguing over food. They seem to bring a room to life whenever they enter and I love it.

"Will you two shut the fuck up!" Jax grumbles from above me. Jesus whoever was on that phone, really pissed him off.

"Fuck off Jax, let them laugh for fucks sake." Jo says standing up to stare her brother in the eye. They are nearly the same height, Jo just a bit smaller.

He rolls his eyes and walks to the alcohol part of the table of foods.

Jo looks to me, expecting me to do something. "I'll sort it out." I huff, rolling my eyes and following him.

His shoulders tense when he feels me approaching but I make no move to touch him or talk. He is too wound up and I don't want to say the wrong thing.

He pours himself a glass of whiskey and picks up a few snacks from the table to eat. I feel them watching me and expecting something to happen like Jax to flip the table or for us to hug it out or something stupid.