Breath love - adopted by Elizabeth Olsen ✔️

2 - Bad day -

1397 words :)
TW: panic attacks; bullying

3e person POV

As soon as Riley entered her room, she locked the door and sat on her bed against the headboard hugging her knees. Her breathing was rapid, and tears were flowing down her cheeks. Flashes of that night in the park came back. Riley was locked in her position. She couldn't move, breathe, or calm herself down. Riley zoned out staring at the wall hoping she wouldn't pass out.

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Riley woke up wondering where she was. As she looked around, she released she was sitting on her bed in her room. A glance at her phone told her it was 4:30 am. 'Well great' Riley thought. She felt exhausted. The unpleasant thoughts still roamed in her head. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw flashes of that night. Riley felt her breathing picking up again. She knew she needed to calm herself down. Riley quickly got up and started the shower. Turning the shower's temperature to 'freaking hot' Riley stepped under it and let the water run over her. Closing her eyes and just focused on the water hitting her skin. After a few minutes, she again started seeing the flashes, so Riley decided to just wash her hair and body as another distraction.

After the shower, she got dressed in some pj's and brushed her hair putting it in a loose bun. Walking back into her room Riley grabs her phone and started an episode of WandaVision. She knew that sleeping wouldn't work. Next to the fact that she knew for certain that she would have a nightmare and she had to get up early of course.

Before Riley knew it the episode ended, and she started a new one knowing that she has already taken a shower which allowed her to stay in bed a little longer. After what felt like a few minutes the second episode ended and Riley reluctantly got up and changed into some high wasted black jeans with an oversides sage green sweater. After putting her dc martens on she packed her bag and walked downstairs. It was quiet in the kitchen which Riley loved. She made some toast and a cup of much-needed coffee. While eating her breakfast the kitchen got a little more crowded. Riley mumbles a good morning to everyone that joined her.

After she was finished, she cleaned her plate and looked around for Brooke telling her today's schedule like every morning.
Riley left early today, deciding to walk around the park. This meant that they had to walk for 40 minutes instead of 25. Riley put her earphones in and listened to some milo Greene. For some reason, this music always calmed her down and she listened to it every day.

Riley Mae: Good morning, Faye! How are you feeling today? Meet by our lockers?
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40 minutes later (SpongeBob vibes)

Riley walked to her locker looking at the ground as always. No response for Faye could only mean that she was still sick. Riley had a feeling this was not going to be a good day. Riley picked up her books for today, math and history. She had her music class in between but she didn't need a book for that. Riley felt a pair of eyes on her, knowing better than to look she closed her locker and walked the other way.

The girls were walking about Riley. About how stupid, fat, and ugly she is and of course about the fact that she didn't have friends or parents. They watched her every move. Slightly laughing about their comments as Riley walked away from them.

Riley could hear the girls laughing and it got to her. Normally she could slightly pretend not to hear it but today everything got to her. While holding back tears, walking fast, and looking at the ground Riley made her way to her math class.

Riley thought math was pretty easy but today it wasn't. She didn't do her homework which made the beginning of the class horrible. Luckily the teacher was nice and gave Riley a pass for not having it finished. She did, however, make her promise to make it over the weekend, Riley was fine with that after all she didn't do her homework because she didn't want to do it. The rest of the class wasn't better. Riley kept on zoning out. She didn't hear a word the teacher said and didn't do any work in class she barely heard the bell ring. Riley quickly grabbed her stuff and speed walked out of the room.

While walking in the hall she felt hands on her back. Before she knew it, she was on the ground with her backpack next to her. The girls picked up the backpack opened it and poured the contents on the ground next to Riley. Riley didn't say anything, she looked at the ground she was still laying on and hold back her tears again.

The girls laughed and called Riley some names before walking to their next class. Riley watched them walk away and she watched every other person in school walk around her like she didn't exist. She slowly got up en gathered her stuff. Not able to hold her tears back any longer she ran to the bathroom. Locking the door, she sat on the ground against the wall and cried until she was hyperventilating. Knowing her next class was soon (because she heard the bell meaning it was now lunch break) Riley tried some breathing exercises. Riley inhaled for four seconds, then held her breath for seven seconds. Finally, she exhaled for eight seconds. She repeated it until she felt like her heart rate was almost normal again. She got up and splashed some water on her face. She looked in the mirror briefly; she looked like shit. Puffy red eyes and nose and red cheeks. It was clear that she had been up all night and cried for many hours. After hearing the bell for another time, indicating it was now time for her next lesson, she dried her hands and face picked her stuff, up, and took a deep breath before walking to her next class.

*ping* (how else do you describe the sound of a message?)

Faye: Hey, good morning. Still feel like shit so won't be there but I guess you already knew that seeing it is after lunch. oops. How are you holding up?

Riley didn't want to answer immediately but it felt nice that Faye was checking up on her. Riley knew she was kind of being a shittie friend not checking up on Faye or answering her text, but she just couldn't. Everything was so hard today and Riley hated it.

Music class didn't go any easier for Riley. She messed up all her accords and everyone got frustrated with her. Riley couldn't wait for the day to end. History class went just like the other two classes: like shit.

Ending the school day Riley quickly ran to her locker to put her stuff away. She ran out of the school and sped to the bookstore. 15 minutes later she arrived just in time for her shift to start. Saying a quick hello to the owner Maria she changed into her work shirt and went to Sarah, her coworker.

Her shift progressed slowly after Sarah left for the day. Riley put some books back on the shelf and stocked some bookmarks since they always give away one bookmark with a pursue of one book. So, if you were to buy four books you would get four bookmarks. Riley thought that that was kind of cute and it set this bookstore apart from the others.

Maria left around 7.30 pm which meant that Riley had 2 more hours before she could close the store. She was tired en couldn't wait for her bed. The rest of the shift went by slowly like it had been 14 our workday. At 9.30 pm sharp Riley locked the door and did the last thing before returning to the orphanage.

Saying a quick 'hello and goodnight' to Brooke Riley went to her room, changed into her PJs, brushed her teeth, and got under the comfy covers. She drifted to sleep hoping it would be a night without nightmares.

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Published: February 19th 2023

Hope you liked this chapter!

 Please be kind to yourself! eat, drink, sleep, journal, walk, brush your teeth, and shower. If you're having a bad time, that's oke! try to pick one of these things to do today and let me know how it went! I want to know and help you :)Till the next one!! byeeeee