Frerard - Remember Me!

10

Gerard sat bolt upright at hearing Frank's words.

"I knew it" he said in a breathy whisper. "I just knew there was something more between us."

He lunged forward to capture Frank's mouth with his own, but Frank held his hands to his shoulders, reluctantly stopping him.

"Gee! Wait!"

Gerard looked hurt and embarrassed by Frank's protest; his head tilting to one side as he spoke quietly. "But.....I thought you said.........."

"I did, and I am Gee. I am more in love with you than you could ever imagine. And believe me I want this. So fuckin' much."

He shook his head ever so slightly before continuing. "But I fucked it all up Gee. I let you go, and it's the biggest regret of my life."

"Why?"

"Because I'm a fucking idiot" Frank laughed, but with no humour to it. "We weren't exactly 'out' if you know what I mean. We were together, and everyone in our inner circle knew that, but nobody else did. But then people began to speculate, and there were rumours and write ups about us. Everywhere we went, people would analyse us and how we were around each other. Every. Fucking. Move. It became more about the two of us than the music, and I found it really hard to deal with."

"You did?" Gerard asked.

"Yeah" Frank admitted. "I don't know why. Please don't think I was ever ashamed of us. Because I wasn't. Never. But I began to worry about the reputation of the band. So, I started to put a bit of distance between us."

Frank's face burned in anger at his own actions. He had berated himself everyday since the two ended their relationship. He could recall Gerard's words, like a dagger to his heart, when he'd asked him if he had ever loved him in the first place. He tried to assure him that of course he had, and that he still did, but he felt it better to take a step back - for the sake of the band. He had known though, when he saw the look in Gerard's face that fateful day, he had known that he had lost the best thing to have ever happened to him.

"And then what?" Gerard asked, interrupting his gloomy thoughts.

"And then I broke your heart" he said quietly. "I asked you to put us on hold for a while, you know, just until everything died down. But you saw that as me being ashamed of us and it really hurt you. I wasn't Gee. I wasn't. But I was still pretty insistent on us taking some time out. I don't fucking know why. At the time it all made sense. But not to you Gee."

"So we broke up? Then what?"

"Then before I could even take a breath, Lindsey came along."

Gerard flinched at the mere mention of her name.

"She was a distraction for you. She couldn't get enough of you. Flattered you and made you feel wanted again. And as much as you denied it Gee, she was definitely a way for you to hurt me. To show me that you didn't need me anymore and that you'd moved on. It was a great big 'FUCK YOU' aimed at me. And it did fucking hurt. It broke me. I tried to explain that I hadn't intended for us to split for good, but you were bitter; understandably, and Lindsey was there to tell you what a piece of shit I was and what a saint she was."

"And I believed her?"

"Oh she's clever Gee. And I do think you felt something for her. I mean, fuck, you married her after two months, so..........."

"Two months?" Gerard replied in shock.

"Yeah. It was so sudden. Just, bam, 'we're getting married tonight'. At first I thought it was just a sick joke, but no, mere hours later it was official. Mr & Mrs Way."