The Chef's Secret Romance

Chapter 38: Let You Go

Chapter 38: Let You Go

"This is not the way to the airport, Love."

I told him when I noticed we were making a U-turn. Binasa ko ang daang tinatahak namin. Isabel La Católica!

Gulat akong napatingin sa kanya.

"You should speak with her again before we leave. You both need it, love," sabi niya habang ipinaghuhugpong ang mga daliri namin.

Iniwas ko ang mga mata ko sa kanya. Nararamdaman siguro niya ang katahimikan ko kanina. Kinakain na naman kasi ako ng konsensiya ko. "Do you believe she still wishes to speak with me?" alangan kong tanong.

"She will because she loves you. Galit lang iyon pero mahal ka niya."

Huminga ako nang malalim at tumango. The hotel car was then parked in an apartment a few blocks away from Azul Historico.

"I'll wait for you here," Angelo said before letting go of my hand. Bumaba naman ako mula sa kotse habang abut-abot ang kaba sa dibdib ko.

I took a cautious step in front of the apartment. I took the elevator to the 8th floor and stopped at the farthest door from that hallway.

Atubili ako kung kakatok ba ako o hindi ngunit bandang-huli ay kumatok na ako.

"Honey, are you in there?" I continued to knock three times. It opened minutes later, and I was greeted by a very small room. Parang may kumurot sa puso ko dahil ang liit-liit ng apartment na tinutuluyan ng anak ko. "Honey," I called her name, but she turned away.

"Pumunta ka ba rito para ipamukha sa akin na masaya ka kahit hindi ako ang pinili mo?" galit na tanong niya nang lingunin niya ako.

I gave a weak smile and looked down. "Honey, I never chose anyone. Please..." A tear quickly falls from my eyes. Matalim ang mga mata niyang nag-iwas ng tingin sa akin.

"Then follow him home. I don't need a mother like you," madiing sabi niya ngunit narinig ko ang pagnginig ng boses niya. Nararamdaman kong nasasaktan ko siya dahil sa desisyon ko.

"You can still come home to me if you finish your chef adventure and—"

"Wala na akong uuwian dahil wala ka na roon pagbalik ko!" malakas niyang sigaw na ikinaigtad ko. Mas lalo akong napaluha. Nakita kong paasik niyang pinunasan ang mga luhang naglalandas sa pisngi niya.

"Honey, please. Don't cry. Mommy will always wait for you..."

"Saan ako uuwi, mommy? Ha?! Saan!!!" galit na galit niyang tanong sa akin. Gumagaralgal na ang boses niya. Hindi ko ginusto na nakikita siyang nagkakaganito.  Alam kong ako ang dahilan kung bakit siya galit na galit ngunit hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

"What do you want me to do? Hindi ko naman ginustong mahulog kay Angelo. Believe me, anak. Ginawa ko ang lahat para iwasan ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya pero nahulog pa rin ako sa kanya," umiiyak ako habang nakatingin sa kanya.

She laughed sarcastically, lifting her head to look at the ceiling. "So it was all my fault all along? Kung hindi ko siya ipinasok sa resto, hindi mo siya makikilala." She nodded, possibly in agreement with what she was saying. "Tinupad mo pala ang sinabi ko noon na, "Mom, you will like him because he's masipag." Tumawa siyang muli nang nakakaloko. That was exactly what she said to me, but it didn't cross my mind at that time. "So it was all my fault," she admitted. "All right, mom. Go ahead and marry him, but as I said last night, I won't be there for you anymore. Magkanya-kanya na tayo ng buhay tutal kaya ko namang mabuhay nang wala ka. Ikaw, mukhang hindi mo kayang mabuhay nang wala ang manlolokong Angelo na iyon! Pinagsisisihan ko na ngayon kung bakit ko kinaibigan ang taong iyon. Isa siyang ahas! Traydor! He was fucking you behind me! Proud na proud pa siyang ikinukuwento sa akin na may girlfriend siya, 'yon pala, ikaw ang girlfriend niya?! Masaya ba kayong dalawa na nabilog ninyo ang utak ko?!" galit na galit ang mga mata niya habang nakaturo ang daliri niya sa akin.

"Natakot akong sabihin sa 'yo, anak," pag-amin ko.

She sniffed and wiped her eyes harshly. "Four years... Ginago ninyo ako ng apat na taon, mommy!"

"I'm sorry, honey. Hindi ko lang alam kung paano ako aamin sa 'yo nang hindi ka nasasaktan ng ganito."

"Nasaktan mo na ako, mommy... You betrayed me! You betrayed my dad! Wala pa siyang ilang buwang humimlay, kumirengkeng ka na sa Angelo na 'yon!"

"Skye...." nanghihina kong tawag sa kanya.

"Masakit bang marinig ang katotohanan, mommy? You deserved it. I'll be fine here. Go ahead and marry him. You deserved each other anyway, mga parehong manloloko," paratang niya.

I took a deep breath because I knew I couldn't persuade her any longer. "Would you be this upset with me if I fell in love with someone other than your friend?" I asked, intrigued.

But she didn't say anything to me.

"Honey, I'm not going to give up telling you that I didn't plan all of this. Angelo is a nice guy, as you are aware. Hindi mo siya kakaibiganin kung masama siyang tao. You're just blinded by anger, but in your heart, you know he's a great guy. You've seen how hard he worked to get to where he is today. Should you be happy for mom because a guy wants to love me even though I'm already old? You're going to marry and leave me—"

"I'm not going to marry, Mom. I'm happy with myself. Huwag mo akong igaya sa 'yo." Ramdam kong nanghihina na siya sa sagutan naming dalawa. This is the second time we've gotten angry at each other. Ni wala akong maalalang pinag-awayan namin ng malala simula noong bata pa siya. Alam kong mabait na tao ang anak ko. Ni minsan ay wala pa akong naalala na nakaaway niya.

"Okay, honey. But don't shut your doors... I'd still marry him, as I previously stated. I'll accept now if you can't be there for us... I'm sorry, honey. But remember, you'll always be my daughter. I will always keep you up to date on what I am doing and—"

"Don't bother anymore, Mom. I've already removed you from my contact list."

I nodded. I wanted to respect her decision, but a strange pang struck my heart. "I'll still message you, honey. I love you. Can I please hug you?" nag-unahang muli ang mga luha ko sa paglandas sa mga mata ko.

Nang hindi siya sumagot ay mabilis akong lumapit sa kanya at yumakap ako ng sobrang higpit habang patuloy ang pagtulo ng luha ko. I'm not sure how long she'll accept me, us, but I'm hoping.. "Mag-iingat ka palagi rito, anak. Alagaan mo ang sarili mo. Honey, please come back to me when you are ready to accept us."

But she didn't show any emotion after that. Nanatili lamang na matigas ang kaniyang anyo. Pero alam kong iyakin din ang anak kong ito, mana sa akin ito, e! I'm sure she'll cry when I leave her here, and it breaks my heart. I'm shattered into pieces.

"Go back to him while I still have the courage to let you go. Ipagdadamot na kita sa kanya sa oras na bumalik ka sa akin at lokohin ka niya," matigas na sabi niya.

With that, I was able to tightly hug her again. Hindi man niya literal na inaamin na tanggap niya kami ay ramdam kong hinahayaan na niya ako sa kanya. "Thank you, honey. I love you so much!"