When The Stars Fall

Venus and Mars

Authors note: so it's not smut but I'm warning you guys because it may as well count. Drunk James will make up for how long this took.

Does anyone happen to know if it's November or December? I really don't want to go check for context clues right now. 

~

"Should I be worried that you're in bed with two men who aren't your boyfriend?" Pandora asked leaning against the door.

Regulus didn't look up from his book as he turned the page, "I'm not the one you have to worry about. These two are the ones who couldn't keep it in their pants."

"You knew?!" Barty shot up.

"The bed was literally vibrating under me, Crouch. Of course, I fucking knew. I'm just glad you two finally did it. James and I had a bet on how long it'd take. I just sped it up so I'd win."

"What'd Potter bet?"

"Summer."

Remus stumbled out of his bed, glaring at the Slytherins as he made his way to the bathroom, the door slamming behind him.

Regulus blinked, "I was asleep so what did you do to him?"

Evan shrugged, "No clue."

Kieran walked into the dorm holding a Daily Prophet, his jaw basically on the floor, "What did you do last night when Potter kicked you out?"

"... I may have argues with some eleven-year-olds."

"Did you tell them to, and I quote, "hang yourself" and "Grow boobs and try again"?"

"No. Yes. Yes, I did. They were annoying."

"You also told them you bent James over the library table and... Merlin help me- fucked him until he was screaming?"

"Something of the sorts." He nodded, "Why?"

Kieran tossed him the paper, "Read it out loud."

Shrugging, Regulus picked up the paper, "James Potter: Bent In More Ways Than One. Do the Black Brothers Have Something To Share?" He cringed, setting it down, "Okay I may have said too much..."

"You think?!" He snapped, "He's going to die. Your mother is going to kill him. Your mother is going to kill you. Actually, she might just kill Sirius, you are her favourite and he's already tainted. She's never going to let you out of the house though."

"No. No one's going to believe it. It's Rita Skeeter. She's looking for any story she can find to get her five minutes."

"Turn the page. It looks like all the Blacks made it in today's paper."

Regulus frowned picking it back up. He flipped through the pages, biting the inside of his cheeks as he read, 'Narcissa Malfoy? Not Any Time Soon. Bellatrix Black to be wed to R. Lestrange. No, Not Her Boyfriend, His Brother. Andromeda Black, Burnt and Broken.'

"What- what does this mean? Narcissa said no? She actually- Andromeda, Burnt and Broken? What- what does that- somebody tell me what the hell's going on!"

"I think I can," James whispered, walking into the room.

"What?"

"Come with me?" He asked, "Don't- don't get dressed, don't- just put on some shoes and come with me."

Regulus glanced at the others before nodding and following James out.

They walked in silence to the Gryffindor dorms and James led him to Remus' bed, carefully moving the curtains to the side.