Smother {Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy Reader Insert} {Finished}

Chapter 19

I already put a trigger warning at the beginning of this book but here's yet another!
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Alas you did not sleep through the night. Everyone who stayed over was occupied with each other in the living room, leaving you alone in the dark room. You laid there, eyes wide opened and staring at the moonlight sneaking into your window. With an annoyed groan you grabbed your phone from the nightstand, looking at the group chat. Their texting seemed to have ceased as everyone had finally settled for the night. The last text was sent a few hours ago, leaving it to be almost midnight. You frowned and placed the phone back on the stand. You wished you asked someone to stay with you, or you could have at least slept downstairs with everyone else.

Your mind kept wandering to your doleful thoughts. The more time you spent laying there, the worse the thoughts became. Every time that happened you tried to think of the time you had just spent with your friends, allowing your quiet chuckles to fill the silence as you remembered the silly questions and answers to the game. However that could only work for so long as your thoughts continued to gravitate to the past.

You squeezed your eyes shut, holding your head inside your hands. You just wanted to sleep the night away. You were so exhausted yet your anxiety kept you awake, overthinking everything you learned about Rufus. What if he indeed murdered your mom? What if he was going to try to kidnap you to sell you? What if-

You shook your head. '{Y/N} shut up.' You thought to yourself with annoyance.

Swinging your feet over the edge of the bed, you stood up and made your way to the bathroom. Maybe splashing some cold water on your face would shock your body enough to snap you out of it. You did your best to sneak across the hall, closing the door gently. With a sigh you faced the sink, turning on the water and waiting a few seconds for it to cool down before you wet your hands and threw the cold water at yourself. You sighed at the cool temperature, as just for that moment it helped you feel just a bit better. You reached for a nearby clean hand towel, drying your face off before lifting your head to look at yourself in the mirror.

You gasped with surprise at the sight of a shadowy figure over your shoulder.

"Rufus!" You exclaimed in a harsh whispers, whipping around in a panic.

Yet no one was there.

You gasped for air, feeling your heart pound as you sank to the bathroom floor. No matter what you did, you just couldn't get away. Your mind was swept away by flashbacks constantly smothering your happiness, refusing to allow any sort of light in. Event after event, experience after experience, all suffocating you as each flashback came in faster than the last. The pressure in your head increased as the tears began to swell in your eyes. You could hear his laugh as if he was sitting beside you, breathing down your neck and sending chills down your spine. You could feel him right there, ready to nab you at any point.

This needed to stop.

You had nothing. No distraction, no comfort, and no help. With a shaky hand you reached for the the cabinet under the sink, praying to yourself what you were looking for was there.

Anything to silence the thoughts.

Your breath was shallow as you found what you were looking for, pulling out disposal razors. You took one, holding it up to your face and watched it tremble inside your clenched fist.

'Gotta get back to the room before someone notices.'

With wobbly legs you opened the door as quietly as you could, almost stumbling across the hall. You almost fell but caught yourself, hearing a subtle thump from your knee hitting the ground. Hissing from your teeth you slithered into your room and gently shut the door behind you. You attempted to take a deep breath, but your anxiety didn't allow you to breath properly as the air in your lungs turned to shudders. You leaned against the foot of your bed, staring at the razor with a quavering hand.