Smother {Kingdom Hearts/Final Fantasy Reader Insert} {Finished}

Chapter 22

You had to hold the door to your room closed when you returned as Xion desperately banged on the door. You weren't ready to explain to her the details of the meet up, as you had a lot of trouble talking about your mental health or anything that went on inside your head. Xion was relentless however, and after a brief pause she was texting the girls group chat from her room. Your phone was buzzing constantly as the girls were excitedly replying.

However what they didn't know was you were having a lot of anxiety. Xion pounding on the door begging to come in reminded you of that night, triggering unintentional flashbacks. When she retreated you had slid to the floor with your back against the door, holding your head inside the palm of your hands and weeping silently to yourself. The same scene repeated over and over again as if someone clicked the loop button, each version getting more and more distorted as your breathing became unregulated and your heart rate increased. The sound of your phone buzzing caused you to toss it across the room and it loudly bumped the wall.

Before long you heard Noctis yelling from outside your door, "Xion leave {Y/N} alone!"

You did your best to quiet your breathing, as you didn't need him to know you were panicking. However of course he knocked, which forced you to burst into sobs. You covered your mouth with your hand to silence yourself as you hunched over.

"{Y/N}! What's going on? Are you okay?!"

"L-leave me alone!" You melted into the floor, curling up into a fetal position and holding your legs tightly.

Noctis jiggled the handle but you had locked it from the inside. You heard a pause, the only sound being your quiet sobs. You heard your phone buzz again, and you could only feel angry and annoyed with the sounds. You crawled over weakly to the object, reaching with a quivering hand to silence the damn thing. When you lifted it to your face to turn it off, you caught a glimpse of Noctis' message to the group chat;

'I need someone's help with {Y/N}. She's having a hard time and won't listen to me."

You glared at the phone, bitterly turning it off and tossing it away from you and allowing it to bounce across the room. The fact that it only had a single crack and was still working was surprising, but unfortunately not enough to get your attention to it. You were angry that now everyone knew your situation. You weren't ready to talk about it, and you wanted to be left alone. However you knew someone else would come by eventually to try and talk to you. They were your friends, but they didn't need to get involved.

Your blurry gaze turned to the bottle of affirmation pills Roxas had gifted you, which sat upright on the desk. You crawled over to it, snatching it from the top of the table and dumping the entire bottle to the floor. You quickly grabbed one and tore it opened, reading the small paper inside.

"You are not alone even when you feel lonely."

You threw the paper to the side. It wasn't like you felt lonely, you wanted to be alone. You didn't want to be bothered by anyone, that would just inconvenience them. You opened another one.

"You've never given up even when the way before you was uncertain."

That one made you smile only a bit. You've certainly thought about giving up. You thought about whether or not life was worth living. However your friends made it worth it. They were you entire world.

You forced yourself to take a few deep breaths, holding the shaking paper in your hand as you continued to read it over and over. A single tear fell onto the paper, causing it to smudge. Your lip quivered as you quickly went to dry it off but you were left with a wet crumbled paper. Your hand turned into a fist as you stared with dejection. You ruined it. You ruined that one paper that was bringing you back to reality.