"so tell me. Does that make me the devil... or an angel?"
_______
TW|| suicide, murder, rape, sexual assault.
(Does not romanticise any of these)
_______
His hazel dragon eyes were so painfully irresistible to her, and her emerald siren eyes were mo...
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Kelani
The sound of distant but not so distant whispers wakes me from a weak slumber. A slumber I didn't even know I slipped into. My hair is out of its bun and feathering around my head, that's probably what's causing this throbbing pain at the back of my head. The bun was tighter than I thought.
"No I haven't told her"
"So what the fuck did you two talk about last night?" That's uncle Sams voice, and he sounds confused.
"Just- stuff. She told me she forgives me for what I did". Mateo. His voice low and subtle, on my left.
I'm usually a heavy sleeper so Sam must've assumed I wouldn't be able to hear whatever this is.
"Bullshit. Kelani said she forgives you? Like to you, alone? The girl is the most stubborn little shit I know, and what you did would not have slipped through the cracks that easily"
"Look I was shocked too okay? I thought it would've taken at least a couple months to earn her forgiveness." My eyes twitch hearing his words, what exactly was he doing to 'earn' my forgiveness. The enunciated word makes me think he's been actively trying to redeem himself. I'm not sure how.
"I woke up this morning second guessing everything last night" he continues. Sam must've asked what does he mean because he continues to sigh, "just after everything that happened, I couldn't help but feel that she said all the things she did because she felt bad"
"I don't think so Mateo"
"Sam- even you have been nicer to me, doing more than just tolerating me for the sake of the plan. You're gonna stand there and tell me you haven't changed your attitude toward me because of what you heard yesterday? And cause you feel bad?"
Silence.
"Exactly. Neither of you forgive me, you feel bad for me. That's exactly what I didn't want."
Guilt sits in my chest. Fuck. I'm a Hipocrite.
"Mateo, how did it go last night?" Sam questions, his tone calm.
I listen intently, waiting for the response, still pretending to be deep in sleep.
"It was great. It felt the way it usually was between us. Normal"
"Then let's say she didn't mean she forgave you, maybe she said it in the moment. But if she was- you know- Kelani with you, then maybe she did miss you. Knowing Kelani if she doesn't want to be around you, she'll show it. The little shits face is very expressive"
I hear a chuckle from Mateo, then one from Sam.
Sam knows me too well. I have no filter when it comes to expressing how I feel, I don't care to fix one in either. Truth is, i did miss Mateo. I missed talking with him, laughing with him.
I'm ashamed to say I also missed his lips on mine, and his hands on my bare skin. But that was a one time thing. I don't expect that to happen again. I don't want it to.
