EGO & VENGEANCE

Chapter 63

Kelani

I haven't felt my heart ache like this since my big sister died. I haven't cried as much either. It's been a five days since Uncle Sam was shot three times and fell into a coma. I haven't stopped crying since, my eyes ache so much that it makes me wants to scoop them out.

And after the doctor told us last night that the chance of him waking up is at 15% likeliness, I spent the entire night crying so hard that I bursted a blood vessel in my left eye. I bursted one in each eye when Alaiyah died, the pain was so unbearable, looking at the puffiness and blood red in my eyes made my chest ache even more. I swore I would never cry that hard again, I'd do anything to make sure I'd never have a reason to.

Mateo was already overcome with so much guilt, he had been isolating himself from everyone since Sam took bullets meant for him. He wouldn't look at me without walking away, the only words he'd speak to me are 'I'm sorry' and he wouldn't let me comfort him.

After we all got the update on Sams state last night, he rushed out of the hospital, not letting anyone stop him, he got in the car and drove off. Sped away so quick that none of us were able to catch him.

He's been gone since then. It's almost been an entire 24 hours now. Mateo simply being in another room that I'm not in makes my chest heave with deprivation. I always need him near me, I can't stand being away from him. And now him disappearing without a word or response to my calls and texts, mixed with the situation with my uncle, makes my heart chip away at itself once again.

It hasn't done that since Mateo told me he loved me. Since he put aside his fears to sit by me on that bridge, to hold me, to tell me he's in love with me. I've felt nothing but love and genuine care from Mateo Askade, every minute spent with him is another minute my heart spends mending itself.

Now that he's missing, it's stopped healing. Now that my uncle is so close to death, it's started breaking again.

I'm sitting beside uncle Sams hospital bed, my hand over his, watching him in silence. Watching his silence. He's never been so quiet or so cold... so... lifeless.

I've spent the past five days here after going home that night and cleaning myself off. The blood and sweat was washed away but not the agonising pain. I came straight back to the hospital and haven't left since.

Gabriel did what he had to to make sure that police weren't contacted about Sams injury, since it was gunshots. The detectives haven't come to see the Askades yet or any of us. And I can't help but wonder how or why, given Tanas house was filled with dead men. We weren't wearing gloves, and blood was shed.

I shake my head and let out a laboured sigh as I observe all the tubes going in and out of Uncle Sam, and listen to the slow beeping of the heart monitor. I feel like crying again as I wipe my hands over my face.

"Go home."

I drop my hands and look up through my hoodie to see Mateos uncle Miguel at the door. I wipe my nose with my sleeve and look back to my uncle "no."