When I get home, I feel slightly better but still on edge. How can they hate me so much to do this to me? I've never said a bad word to them. I've always taken their insults and humiliations and pretended I was ok with it for Abel's sake. And he isn't capable of defending me in the slightest. No, he joins them. As if my misery was fun to him as well.
Am I really so insignificant to all of them? Abel included?
I can't take this anymore...
"Grace. What's wrong with you?", says Abel as a greeting when he gets home.
"With me?"
"Yes, you. Why do you talk to my friends like that and leave playing the victim again?"
"You know what, Abel? We are done", I say, not raising my voice but there is no need. The coldness of my tone is not lost on him.
"What do you mean done?"
"I mean that I'm breaking up with you. That I'm tired of being in this shitty relationship that consumes me more and more every day. I've put up with so much crap while being with you. I've never complained about how you and your friends made me feel but trying to get me fired from my dream job? Who are you to think you have the right to do that?"
"God, you're such a whiny bitch. No one tried to get you fired".
"Not answering my boss' calls isn't going to get me a promotion. And right before New York".
He closes his eyes to take a deep breath.
"Can you not mention New York every five seconds?"
"I don't know. Can you be happy when something good happens to me?"
"Of course I'm happy when good things happen to you".
"You are?", I say, not being able to hold a sarcastic laugh. "You've been complaining since I told you about the trip. Making it all about how I was going to miss your birthday. Making it all about you. As always".
"Is it bad I want my girlfriend with me on my birthday?"
"No one gives a fuck about your birthday! This is the opportunity I've been waiting for since I was 10!", now I'm raising my voice. "You've made me feel like I was leaving you in a hole to die when I've tried to find every solution. But who cares? Whatever I do won't be enough for you. Nothing ever is".
"Maybe the issue is you think you're much more than you really are, Grace. Ever thought about that option?"
"What?", what is he saying now?
"You've always been a posh little girl who expected the whole world to just tell her how perfect she was. And now you wear a couple of designer clothes and think you're what? A big-time fashion journalist? You're still the little girl everyone laughs at, Grace. You'll always be".
"Get out!"
"You can't kick me out of my house!"
"GET OUT! I've always paid more rent than you and all this furniture is mine. So you get the fuck out of my house right now and you can come back and keep it when I've taken all that's mine".
"And where am I supposed to go?", he asks, but the fight is gone. He knows I'm not letting him step over me again.
"Do I look like I care? Sleep on a bench at the park. Or go back to Clara. She'll always welcome you in her bed".
**
When I finally stop shaking, I take my phone to call Andy.
"Hi, Grace!"
"Andy, hi. I'm so sorry I missed your calls".
"Oh, don't even worry. My fault for calling so late. I just wanted to make sure you knew we need all the personal information tomorrow to book everything for New York. So remember to bring it to work".
"Of course, yeah. I'll get it ready".
"You ok, Grace? You sound a bit off".
"Just really tired", and that's not really a lie.
"Well, go to bed then. You'll need your energy for New York", he laughs.
"Yes, I'll do that. I'll see you tomorrow".
"See you then".
This was the first call. Now I need to do a second one.
"Honey? Why are you calling so late? Are you alright?", hearing my mum's concern only makes me cry.
"Can you come here?"
"Grace, what's wrong? You're scaring me. Are you hurt?"
"No, I just...I need you".
"I'll be there in twenty minutes", she says, quickly hanging up.
There is no shame in being a grown adult and needing your mum sometimes. There is no shame in most of the things I've been shamed for throughout my life. I'm done letting other people think they get to tell me how to live my life.
YOU ARE READING
Catch me when I fall (Rúben Dias)
FanfictionGrace's dream was a career in the fashion industry. But while she's finally pursuing that dream, her personal life remains a nightmare. Will she be able to escape an abusive relationship? And will she be able to find happiness and maybe true love?
