Catch me when I fall (Rúben Dias)

Chapter 25

When we get to my place, I'm a ball of nerves. But thankfully Luna is there to make everything easier. I excuse myself for a second to feed her and change her water, which allows me to take more deep breaths and reassure myself that I want to do this. I mean, of course I want to do this but also that this is what I should do.

Back in the living room, I see Rúben has taken his jacket off and opened a few of his shirt's buttons. Yes, that's the Rúben I know. I sit next to him and we both just look at each other.

"This reminds me a bit of my first time, you know? The not really knowing what to do?", I laugh.

"I'll ask you the same question I hope you were asked then. Are you sure you are ready?"

I nod. "I'm a lot surer than I was back then".

And that's when he closes the distance between us so our knees are touching. One of his hands goes to hold the side of my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. I have to try really hard not to melt. No one has ever touched me so gently.

I finally react by moving forward and grabbing the collar of his shirt to bring him closer to me. He's so close I could almost kiss him, so why settle for almost?

The softest touch of our lips seems to make every nerve of my body wake up. I can't remember the last time I felt like this. If I ever did.

Rúben lifts me so I can sit on his lap, my legs around him.

"We stop whenever you want to, ok?"

I nod and kiss him again, this time going for a real kiss. One that starts soft and slow, but gets more and more heated. Soon, I find myself laying on the sofa, with Rúben hovering on top of me, a question on his face.

"It's ok", I tell him, smiling at his worry. He's making this so much easier.

"You're so beautiful", he says while kissing my neck.

My reaction when he looks up at my face is to look away, hiding my face from him.

"What?", asks Rúben.

"Nothing".

"No, it isn't nothing, Grace. Why do you hide when I call you beautiful?"

He is now sitting next to me on the sofa, a serious look on his face.

"Well, you want to sleep with me, of course, you'll call me beautiful. It's whatever. Forget it", I say, trying to get close to him.

"No, don't", he says, still serious.

"Rúben".

"I don't tell you you're beautiful because I want to have sex with you, Grace. I say it because I mean it".

"I...", I start, not knowing how to continue. "I...have only been called beautiful by men in those cases. So...".

"How? What about your ex-boyfriend...", but he puts two and two together quickly.

His look has gone from serious to angry. "He never told you how beautiful you were?"

I just shake my head. There are so many things Abel didn't do...

"Well, he was fucking stupid. I have bitten my tongue so many times, wanting to tell you that and much more but not doing it to not make you feel uncomfortable".

"Like on that Instagram message?", I say, finally finding the time to bring that up.

"What message?"

"The one you posted and deleted quickly", I say, smirking at him. "How long have you been waiting to tell me I'm the most beautiful woman you've ever seen?"

"Since the day I met you", he says, closing the gap between us and bringing us back to our previous position.

"Because you are, Grace", he says, his hands beneath my jumper and his lips back to kissing my jaw. "The most beautiful woman", he says in between kisses. "And if I have to tell you every hour of every day so you understand it's true, I will".

My only response is a moan. Because of how good his touch feels, but also because I'm worried he'll stop again if I say another stupid thing.

**

After a long make-out session, we move to my bedroom. Taking my clothes off in front of Rúben makes me feel incredibly insecure, but he's quick to reassure me with more compliments.

I, on the other hand, don't need to tell him much because the way I'm looking at him is enough to express what I'm thinking. I saw him without a shirt briefly the day we met but...this is a whole different story. And Bella will be happy to know I do get to touch him today.

Sex with Abel was pretty much a routine. After a while, I stopped enjoying it and started faking it. Not that he cared much about whether I got something from it. I often tried to get away with just "sorting him out" as he liked to call it. So when I see Rúben moving down my body, I don't really know how to react. But I know it's the first time since we got home that I want to stop him.

"You don't have to do that".

"Ok...but I want to", he says, looking up. "Wait, do you not like it?"

"I...ehhh...I don't really know".

"What do you mean you don't really know", but then it clicks. "He never...".

"Just a couple of times but it wasn't that great, you know, so...whatever...it's just that...you don't have to do it either".

"I'm not doing anything you don't want or like, Grace. But even you don't know if you like this".

"Yeah, well...".

"There is only one way to find out. Can I ask you to trust me one more time?"

"Yes. I trust you".

And I really do.