Grace's dream was a career in the fashion industry. But while she's finally pursuing that dream, her personal life remains a nightmare. Will she be able to escape an abusive relationship? And will she be able to find happiness and maybe true love?
"And that's how much food she eats. You can give her some treats every day, but not too many. And she loves playing with this toy, so maybe try and play a bit with her when you are around".
I'm explaining to Bella all she needs to know about Luna since she'll be looking after her while I'm away for a whole week for work. It feels wrong to be leaving my poor cat alone, but I know Bella will take good care of her.
"Got it. Are you excited about the trip?"
"Yes", I say, smiling like I do every time I think about this trip. "It's going to be so cool to see some of my ideas being used for a campaign. It's a dream".
"Well, it was a great idea so I'm not surprised".
"I'm lucky Andy listens to me. Everyone at the office has good ideas that are ignored".
"Yeah", she says with a sigh.
Bella is one of the most hard-working people we have working for our magazine. And she's also brilliant at finding new ideas for editorials. But more often than not, those in charge don't even listen to her. It makes me madder than if they were rejecting my ideas. And I've made it my mission to try to use whatever influence I have with Andy to make more people listen to her.
**
I turn on my phone the moment we land in Paris and see all the messages I have. My parents wished me a good trip and told me to send them photos. If only they listened and made an Instagram account. It'd save a lot of time.
Bella has also shared some photos of her and Luna, which I adore seeing. And of course, there are messages from Rúben wishing me a good time in Paris. We had actually planned on doing a few things together this week but I had to cancel. The part of me that is always afraid of doing something that'll push those I care for away was terrified, but he didn't care. He was just happy I was getting this great opportunity. Everyone seems to be happy about me doing well these days. It's...strange. I wish I could say I'm used to it by now, but I still wait for the trick in their good wishes. Yet it never comes.
During the first few days in Paris, we are focusing on the shoot we are here for. It's in collaboration with a big brand, so we need to make sure every piece they want to be highlighted gets its moment.
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**
Since we were already in France, we got invited to a Chanel event in the south of the country. Getting to work with these huge brands I've dreamt of collaborating with for years is indescribable. And exhausting. I'm shy and having to put on a brave face for everyone is not the easiest thing. But this industry isn't easy in general and I'm still here, fighting for my career. And loving every second.
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One downside of being away has been not seeing Rúben. The plans that were cancelled can be done at other times. It doesn't matter. But I had gotten so used to him just being there, that knowing I can't just call him and meet him is not a very nice feeling.
I told myself I wouldn't fall in love again. I honestly doubted I could trust a man at all. Whenever I was approached by men at bars, I was always terrified. The sole idea of physical touch still terrifies me. But all those fears disappear when I think about Rúben. And that also means that I miss having him by my side, making me feel strong and not broken.
We text and talk on the phone, but it's not the same when we aren't in the same city. Or country. Though I guess it prepares me for fashion month. A whole month away from him. A whole month during which he can meet someone else. Because that's my fear. Knowing he'll meet someone else and our friendship will be over before it even has time to turn into something more.
