Catch me when I fall (Rúben Dias)

Chapter 26

"Can we talk about last night?"

"Do you want me to give you a grade?"

"Again, you wouldn't make a living as a comedian", he says, shaking his head.

"Humour is subjective, Dias".

He sighs. "Grace, we need to talk about your previous relationship".

"No, we don't, Rúben. The more I think about it, the more I realise how bad it was and...it hurts to know I was stupid enough to stay in it for so long".

"You weren't stupid".

"Ok then, you choose which adjective. Weak, spineless, ...".

"Stop it", he says, holding my hands. "You weren't...you aren't any of those things. But I worry about what that relationship did to you, Grace. I don't want you to think I'll do the same, because I won't. I might mess up but I'll never treat you poorly or try to hurt you".

His words make me finally look up at him.

"You want a relationship with me?"

"Have I not been obvious enough?", he chuckles.

"I didn't want to hope for something I maybe wasn't going to get".

"Well", he says, leaning down to kiss me. "You have me...if you want me, of course".

"We could do a two-week trial".

"Again, you and your sense of humour".

But this joke does make him smile. His hands let go of mine to go to my waist and he brings me closer to him for a hug.

"You make me happy, Grace. More than you can imagine. I even get made fun of at the club for it, as you already know. And I want to make you happy too".

"You're doing pretty well so far".

"Only getting started", he winks.

I leave him briefly to finish making my tea and once I have the mug, I motion for him to follow me to the sofa. I try to sit next to him but he catches me and puts me on his lap.

"You were going to sit too far away from me. I felt lonely", he pouts.

"You're so needy".

Luna decides to join us on the sofa, getting ready to nap next to Rúben's leg. She's really needy too. Maybe that's why they get on so well.

"It's hard for me to talk about it".

"That's ok", he says, knowing instantly what I mean.

"But my ex, Abel, he...he found the weakest side of me and exploited it as much as he could. He humiliated me constantly, mostly in front of his friends. He also cheated on me with one of his friends but I never challenged him about it. He...he made me feel like I didn't deserve to be happy. Like he was almost doing me a favour by being with me. He actually said that a few times".

"Bastard", says Rúben under his breath.

"So you can imagine how hard it was for me to imagine that anyone, let alone a Premier League footballer, was truly interested in me when a normal guy had been telling me for years that no one was ever going to love me".

"He was lying".

I sigh. "It's easier to say that from your point of view, Rúben. And I know you say it with the best intentions but it's not so easy for me to accept it. Even if I really want to. The constant doubting will always be there, probably. It's not just you, by the way. I sometimes spend time with Bella and Andy and find myself wondering why they would be my friends and just waiting for them to leave".

I can feel Rúben's arms tighten around my waist. He also kisses my neck, trying to give me the comfort he knows I need while confessing all of this.

"But I'm trying to get better", I say.

"And you're doing a great job. You have me, you have your friends who adore you. Ines hasn't stopped talking about you to Bernardo and she was so upset that we weren't speaking anymore because she thought that meant you couldn't be friends".

"Really?", I ask, surprised. I did notice her liking my posts on Instagram and leaving heart emojis on them, which didn't really help with the rumours about Rúben and me. But didn't expect her to react like that.

"Really. I just wish you could see yourself the way we all see you. But I know you're trying to get there. And I know you will".

Once I finish my tea, I put the mug on the coffee table and just allow myself to be held by Rúben, enjoying the feeling of being appreciated by him.

"Can I ask you for a favour?"

"Of course", he says.

"Can we keep this private? Not from friends but from your fans. I don't think I'm ready to deal with all that".

"We can. I also want to keep you just for myself for a little while".