Catch me when I fall (Rúben Dias)

Chapter 3

"Hey, you awake?"

I'm guessing Abel can tell I'm not asleep but I keep my eyes closed anyways. And he leaves to get ready for bed.

"Grace, I'm sorry. It's just a tough time for us, ok? It'll go back to normal soon".

I hope he's right. And then I realize there is no normal to go back to. This is normal for us. And his promise is just the same empty promise I've heard many times before.

**

Getting ready for my interview is really stressful. I love all my clothes but now none seem good enough. These are fashion people, they know all the trends and buy all the expensive designer items. I doubt my style is going to wow them.

I settle for some elegant trousers and a nice shirt. But what about the accessories?

I know I shouldn't but I grab my laptop to look at designer bags and find one that would be perfect for this job and it's not too pricey. So I get my things and make my way to Bond Street. Even if I don't buy anything, it's so nice to look at the windows in those shops. And I could use the fresh air. I've been at home writing for the last couple of days.

Hermès always has some of the most beautiful displays. And it's there I'm heading.

"Hello miss, can I help you?", says one of the ladies working in the shop.

"Yes, please. I saw this bag online and I was wondering if you had any in stock here at the store", I tell her, getting my phone out of my bag to show her the screenshot I took.

"We do. Please sit here and I'll be back with you in a second".

"Thank you", I say with a big smile.

When she comes back, she brings me the same bag in a few different sizes and colours.

"Did you have any preferences in colour and size?", she asks me.

Well, I didn't for size but the smaller the bag, the cheaper it is. "The small size probably and I wanted it in a colour that would go with every outfit so I guess this taupe shade is the best".

"That would definitely be a great choice if you plan on wearing it with all types of looks. Can I also show you other models in that colour?"

"I really appreciate it but I think this is the one", I say smiling and hoping it's not too noticeable I'm worried she'll bring a 10000 pounds bag to show me. They always do that.

"Great. Anything else I could show you today?"

"No, I think this will be fine for now".

"Lovely. Let me get this ready for you".

Once I've paid for the beautiful bag, I leave and carry on staring at the windows of all the shops. And I can't help but daydream. I imagine myself wearing the Dior dresses in Paris or purchasing a Chanel bag in the future. And the idea of it makes me smile wider than I have in a long time. My dreams are closer to coming true than they ever have. I can feel it.

**

"Hello?", I say when I get back home.

"Baby, hi!", says Abel, running to the door to greet me.

"Someone is in a good mood".

But the mood changes when he sees the bag I'm holding. "What's that?"

"A bag I bought for my interview".

"Hermès?", he says, mispronouncing the brand and touching the bag as if it contained a deadly virus.

"Yes, do you want to see it? It almost makes me sad to open the box and undo the gorgeous wrapping".

"Grace, what are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

He moves to the living room, hands in his head.

"How much was that thing?"

"It was on sale and...I need some accessories for my new job. It's an investment...".

"Your new job? There is no new job! You just have an interview".

"Still, without this, I'm not going to impress anyone at the interviews", I try to reason but he isn't listening.

"You can't just spend our money without telling me first".

That shocks me. Our money? "Abel, I spent my money. I don't need to tell you about what I do with it".

"Oh, so I can go out and buy a car with my money and you'll be fine with it?"

"It's not the same", I say in a small voice, my previous bravado gone, "but I guess I'd have to be, yeah".

"You're unbelievable! Spending our money on a stupid bag. Unbelievable".

"It's my money, Abel", I try to tell him again.

"It's our future!", he yells.

Is it?

"You have to understand that our jobs are different. And...".

"Just say that you think my job is shit and you aspire to be so much more, Grace. Just say it".

"I don't think that. Abel, please...", I beg, grabbing his arm so he doesn't leave the room. "I would never think that".

"You are pathetic, Grace. Once you don't get this job, you'll hopefully realize it. So better keep the receipt".

"Abel...", I try to say, but his words have hurt so much that I'm trying to stop the sobs from being too obvious when I talk. "Please, forgive me for not telling you but I need this. I need this job".

"You need to stop being a child. I can't be your boyfriend and your father".

And with that, he grabs his jacket and leaves, again.

When he's gone, I go to our room and open my bag. I didn't lie, It's a shame I have to remove all the lovely packaging from the box. And when I get the handbag out, I go to the mirror and look at myself wearing it.

I get the clothes I plan on wearing for the interview to see how it looks paired with them and I love the result. I look good. I'll just enjoy this time feeling like this before Abel ruins it by finding something else I've done wrong.