Don't Wanna Be Saved | BWWM

18, Fireworks & Gunshots

EIGHTEEN: Fireworks & Gunshots

        Fireworks and Gunshots
But as long as I am with you I smile a lot 
I would be lying to you 
If I said the colors that spark in the sky of red and blue
Didn’t look so good on you
And the sounds that popped in my ear 
Sounds of danger that I fear
Didn’t sound so bad 
Because I hold you near
Hand holding, butterfly inducing 
No pain but I still gain time spent with you

CHEYENNE AMORE MARTIN

As soon as we arrived at the location I assumed was Taylor’s house. It wasn’t a big house or small. The neighborhood screamed middle class so the music coming from the house was so out of place. 

We walked on the pathway to the door and immediately people started greeting Austin as if I wasn’t there and pulling him away from me. By the doorway were red cups that reeked of liquor and empty bottles everywhere. This party had been going on long before we got here. 

All of the smoke and funny smells that were in the house would make me fail a drug test for being there. 

The speakers are playing some songs I don’t listen to. Everyone was dancing, puking, or making out. I looked out of orbit. I grabbed the gin that was sitting on the floor untouched trying to fit. This must have been a bring your own drink thing. 

I watched as the liquid flowed tightly in the bottle, the clear substance looking at me in my face. 

I push through the bodies of people dancing and having a good time. I make my way to an empty couch and sit with the bottle of gin in my hand. Since today marks the end of this year I decided to open the bottle and take a sip. 

I spit it all out because of the burning on my tongue. I gag a few more times before trying it again. I force it all down my throat a couple times, and still I can’t understand what makes people an alcoholic. 

After a while of drunk people asking me ‘Where is Taylor?’ or ‘Where can I take a piss?’ I was growing unfulfilled. I thought I was going to at least do something besides sit on this couch all day.

I get off the couch going into the crowd in some poor middle aged white lady’s living room. The song ‘Hot & Here.’ playing. Everyone was grinding, having a good time and once again I wanted to go home. I walked up the stairs and the atmosphere was a lot calmer. I leave the claustrophobic area and start to look around. 

Just like downstairs the lights were dim and I couldn’t really see anything or anyone. The hallway was long and dark, somewhat comforting but I still grip the bottle thinking that someone will pop out at me at any chance they have. 

I hear voices coming from each room making me feel crazy. I jump as one of the doors opens as two people walk out. I open the gin bottle again, sipping again and again out of pure curiosity, my tongue begging to feel the taste change each time. 

It was bitter and burned but for some reason it didn’t stop me at all. After drinking out the bottle I felt a little more relaxed. I felt a little more happy even though I was alone. I felt like I was spinning and lightweight. 

I go back downstairs frantically looking for some kind of juice to mix it with. I found something I like and started to sip on it. I might as well make this party worthwhile. I was sitting by myself for a little while before someone said my name. 

I turned around and it was Aubree. She looked a little blurry, I should get some glasses. “Hey!” I put my arm around her and began to walk her into the crowd of people. “We should definitely dance.” I start to sound a little funny but I don’t care.