Be With You

23

Maybe love isn't really for me.

Maybe I was destined to be alone.

To just experience a bit of it but not all of it.

Sad, but I really think that's the reality for me.

After the night I was with Quen I never heard from him again.

No message.

No calls.

No updates.

And I didn't even see him inside the university.

Did I scare him that night? Am I too much of an emotional baggage for him? Is he hiding from me?

I'm not really sure and I don't know the answer.

I tried to leave a couple of messages to him but he wasn't answering any of it.

I'm scared.

I didn't try to find him in his department or try to peek at him during training.

Because I'm hell scared that I might see something.

Or know something that I shouldn't be.

I'm not really a fan of dejavu.

Nakita ko na 'to. Naramdaman ko na 'to dati at ayoko iisipin kung saan papunta ang utak ko.

These negative thoughts would just make me stressed and overthink that's why I let the days pass without us talking...without us seeing each other.

And that kills me inside because I miss him.

I thought I was clear to him that I need more time and hope he can wait for me. I really made sure the hug that I gave him that night made him realize that I don't want him to let me go.

To just hold me in his arms.

But I was wrong...maybe he was tired of waiting.

"Kira!"

I stopped walking in the middle of the hallway while holding my books when Sheen called my name and ran towards me.

She was smiling and waving her hand until she reached me.

"Where are you going? You have class?"

I shook my head and showed her my new set of paint brushes.

"I was heading to the art room..." I was planning to spend the rest of the day there. Hindi ko kasi alam what I supposed to do since this kind of time I'm with Quen anywhere in school kissing, hugging and flirting until school hours ended.

"Do you want to watch basketball game?Quen's playing." Sheen asked.

I think my time stop when I heard his name. Hindi naman ako 'din ako nagtatanong sa mga kaibigan namin tungkol sa kanya.

Hindi ko talaga alam. Natatakot ako sa pwede kong malaman.

I didn't notice that I nodded my head unconsciously and just found myself being pulled by Sheen inside the basketball court.