Midnights of Us

Chapter Three

Napuno ng hiyawan at kantyawan ang buong classroom nang i-announce ng teacher namin ang isang talent contest na gaganapin sa school. It's for the founding anniversary celebration and for the English month na rin. Everybody was jokingly picking anyone at panay naman ang tanggi ng mga 'to dahil sa hiya.

It's my second year na rito sa school and I must say, everything is going well. Unti-unti na akong bumabalik sa dati at nakikipag-interact sa mga kaklase ko, although, I can't really say that I made a lot of friends. The only one who's close to me is Dylan, the rest are aquaintances.

"Ma'am, si Juliet daw." Agad akong napalingon sa kabilang row when somebody shouted my name. "Hoy, anong ako? Nananahimik lang 'yung tao rito oh." I whispered on my seatmate na ngayon ay tinatawanan lang ako.

"Seriously? Dylan, pati ikaw?" I rolled my eyes in disbelief.

"I mean, bakit hindi?" he said while chuckling. Tinitigan ko siya ng masama kaya wala pang ilang segundo ay napatikhim siya at biglang sumeryoso. "Magaling ka kayang kumanta, and I see you practicing how to play guitar with Gio sometimes. Give it a try," he said with a smile. Napalunok ako sa kakaibang kaba na nararamdaman nang saglit na matigilan ako rito. "S-Shut up."

"Juliet, are you in?" Our teacher asked and it made my classmates silent.

I sighed before I mustered my courage to look at our teacher. I can feel my insides trembling in doubt and confusion. I don't know what i'm doing. I don't know why I nodded either. Shocks, what am I getting myself into?

"Dylan, kinakabahan ako, bakit ba ako pumayag doon? Mygoodness! This is so not me, gusto kong mag back out but at the same time, maybe it's a good thing for me right? Ano ba?" I shook his arm with both of my hands. Tingin ko kanina pa 'to nauumay sa akin. Eversince our class ended hanggang ngayon na uwian na namin, hindi ko talaga siya tinatantanan. I feel so nervous kahit next month pa 'yun mangyayari.

"Juliet, it's gonna be fine," he said while massaging his temple. "Diba idol mo si Taylor Swift? You can perform like her sa contest, magpaturo ka na lang mag-guitar kay Gio." Tumingin din siya sa akin sa wakas, but there's something in his eyes right now. He looks tired... and is just trying to look fine infront of me.

Agad akong napabitaw sa kaniya at napaiwas ng tingin. "Why are you always bringing up Gio?"

"I heard you're his crush."

"So?" I asked again, confused of what he's been trying to say. Ilang weeks na rin siyang ganito, pinagtutulakan ako kay Gio na kasabay kong mag-gitara. Marunong naman na ako noon pa, kaso wala akong guitar sa bahay to practice my skill so everytime I see a guitar, I wanted to play it. And it so happens na palaging nagdadala ng gitara si Gio sa school.

Pero imbes na sagutin niya ako, he just shrugged and walked away, leaving me confused of what's happening. In the end, I just let him be. If he's tired of me, then fine. I'd just find solutions for this on my own.

Umuwi ako sa bahay thinking about what I have done to make Dylan act that way. I'm also pressured and excited for that contest at the same time. Kasi kung mangyari at hindi ako magba-back out, it would be my first time to perform—it's been my dream eversince I idolized women who performs on stage, so as watching live bands I happen to see on streets once. I wanted to be like them, just singing my heart out, making good music and all.

"Magaling ka kayang kumanta, and I see you practicing how to play guitar with Gio sometimes. Give it a try,"

"Diba idol mo si Taylor Swift? You can perform like her sa contest, magpaturo ka na lang mag-guitar kay Gio."

I feel like Dylan's voice is echoing throughout my whole system. Sa sobrang tahimik ng bahay dahil hindi pa nakakauwi sina tita and mom, gayundin ang sobrang pag-ingay ng isipan ko.

I bit my lower lip as soon as i've thought things through before grabbing my phone again. I've planned to chat Gio but the notifications are leading me the other way, I ended up opening a social media platform and absentmindedly scrolled. I almost threw my phone away, I literally have no idea why my freaking body is shaking!

Specially when I saw my old classmate's post on my newsfeed. They look so perfect and fine. Although some of them messaged me, it doesn't make me feel anything. All I could ever think of was that day when some of them blamed me for something i'm still unsure why it has to happen.

Ilang sandali pa ay tumunog 'yung phone ko. Muntik ko pa itong maitapon dulot ng pagkabigla ngunit agad ko rin naman itong tinignan. Dylan's chat head popped up on my screen kaya hindi na ako nag-aksaya ng oras para tignan 'yun.

My eyes widened with what I saw. I've never heard my heart beat this loud for something that really shocked me, but reading what he just sent was a total storm that blew my mind away.

"I like you..." I read his words out loud. "Why would he? What in the world...?"

I can't find the right words to say. My lips are trembling out of shock and fear, but I still managed to reply asking him if he's not joking. And he's definitely not.

"I just wanted you to know that i've been feeling this way eversince you're still studying at a different school. I always see you around, but I know you would never notice me."

"I'm not asking you to like me back, though. Gusto ko lang talaga na malaman mo, so i'd have no regrets for not confessing at all..."

This is the first time that somebody confessed to me. And I wanted to give it a try. I wanted to know how it feels like to be liked by someone I also deemed to be special.

"It really shocked me that... you also feel the same way..." I replied, smiling when he replied sweetly at my message.

But for how long would somebody like you until they get disappointed in finding out who you really are? I am being blamed for ruining a friendship. A guy who also confessed to me just ghosted me without saying his reason. And it still makes me wonder what's wrong with me for them to treat me that way.

At first, this situation is still fine with me. But when I started to hide my phone from tita and mom just so they wouldn't see my sweet talks with Dylan, when I started to realize that we've become more awkward at school in contrast to when we talk online, and when I started to see how he gets close to every other girl in our class aside from me—it doesn't sit right.

I just feel confused, lonely, and paranoid every single day. And nobody sees that. No one saw through me and ask me how i've been doing. It's been making me wonder 'why' all over again. Why would they never want to get close to me and stay by my side?

"Hey," I started before putting the guitar infront of me properly. "Can I ask a question?"

Gio looked at me with his eyebrows meeting at the middle of his forehead. "Nagtatanong ka na." He feigned seriousness in his voice pero natawa lang din siya kalaunan kaya binato ko siya ng capo.

"Seryoso nga kasi, gago."

"Luh, minura ba naman ako. Sumbong kaya kita kay Dylan?"

"Edi gawin mo. As if may pakealam pa 'yun sa akin," I bitterly said while looking away. I fought with him last night. I don't like him anymore. I want him to leave me alone if he's just going to make me feel this way.

"LQ?"

"LQ your face. Walang kami to begin with para alam mo."

"Ang hirap talaga kapag walang label." He shook his head, clearly teasing me with our situation at the moment.

"Ano ba naman 'yan. May tanong nga kasi ako—"

"Oo, sinasagot na kita, pwede mo na ako maging boyfriend," he seriously said kaya sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. "Umayos ka kung ayaw mong ibato ko sa'yo 'tong gitara mo." Tinawanan pa ako ng ungas.

"Listen. I'm serious okay?" I impatiently leaned forward para lapitan siya. "Anong nakikita mo sa'kin?"

"Muta."

"Put—" angina... Hindi ako makagalaw nang mas inilapit niya pa sa akin ang mukha niya.

"Isang mura pa, hahalikan talaga kita—" Hinampas ko siya sa dibdib dulot ng pagkagulantang sa huling sinabi niya. Natauhan lamang ako nang marinig ang pagdaing niya kaya agad kong nailapag ang gitara at tinignan siya ng maigi.

"S-Sorry," I uttered underneath my breath.